Help with a friends situation,trying to save family home

[Hannah1999]

I have been talking to a young lady that has a mother that has dementia that is getting very hard to look after at home,the daughter has a well documented history of mental health issues and even spends 2 days in therapy each week,she moved out of the family home to live with a partner as she couldn't cope with being in the family home as you could imagine it made her mental health worse.
Her brother that lives there is struggling now and she says that she's upset that the family home that her mother had worked hard to pay for will go on care fees,if her mother enters a home.
Can anyone give any advice as to how she could try and keep the home,if she moved back she would surely qualify for a disregard with her mental health history,she is still registered as living there is registered at the doctors and dentists with that address and stays there a couple of nights a week to help
When I spoke to her she was under the impression that she would be only able to stop there for 2 years if mum entered a home and the house would still be sold,but I said that's for a deffered payment,you would want to apply for a disregard as you qualify under the rules with your health matters,well I hope that's the case anyway.
Any help would be much appreciated

 

[Bunpoots]

Welcome to Dementia Talking Point @Hannah1999

I’m not sure that I have any good news for you as I think that, unless your friend is at least 60 the house will have to be sold if the mother moves into full time care.

I don’t know what the situation is at home but the family are entitled to have carers up to 4 times a day to help with the mother’s needs. Has this been put in place? It makes things much easier if professional helpers can share the load. Also Respite care to give them a break.

Sometimes councils will consider a discretionary property disregard depending on circumstances but this can’t be guaranteed and it’s harder to get these days with so little money in the social care system.

Hopefully someone with more knowledge than me will come along soon with more information but sadly I think the only way to keep the home is to keep the mother there.

 

[Hannah1999]

Welcome to Dementia Talking Point @Hannah1999

I’m not sure that I have any good news for you as I think that, unless your friend is at least 60 the house will have to be sold if the mother moves into full time care.

I don’t know what the situation is at home but the family are entitled to have carers up to 4 times a day to help with the mother’s needs. Has this been put in place? It makes things much easier if professional helpers can share the load. Also Respite care to give them a break.

Sometimes councils will consider a discretionary property disregard depending on circumstances but this can’t be guaranteed and it’s harder to get these days with so little money in the social care system.

Hopefully someone with more knowledge than me will come along soon with more information but sadly I think the only way to keep the home is to keep the mother there.

Hi thanks it was just a thought,it does seem unfair but life is like that,it seems being over 60 has it's benefits when it comes to keeping a home.

 

[canary]

Is your friend registered disabled?
If so, this might qualify for a disregard, but there may be a problem due to her moving out. Disregards only apply when the qualifying person is living there before the person with dementia moves to a care home

 

[Hannah1999]

Is your friend registered disabled?
If so, this might qualify for a disregard, but there may be a problem due to her moving out. Disregards only apply when the qualifying person is living there before the person with dementia moves to a care home

Hi no she isn't regsitered as disabled,I think she is out of luck then

 

[MaNaAk]

What about renting the house out to pay the fees? Does your friend or her brother have Power Of Attorney for Property and Finance?

MaNaAk

 

[Mydarlingdaughter]

Hi i believe if your friends mum is admitted to a care home under nhs continuing care scheme the nhs will pay for fees
It has to go through social services

 

[Duggies-girl]

Hi i believe if your friends mum is admitted to a care home under nhs continuing care scheme the nhs will pay for fees
It has to go through social services

Hi there CHC is very difficult to get. It is not generally granted just for dementia. The patient has to be assessed as to their needs which must be high and most get turned down.

 

[Tammer]

Hi,
Not good news here and I wonder about the same thing with my mum's house(s). I notice that care home fees are around £1200 - £1500 per week so renting out her house is unlikely to cover the costs unless it is the size of South Fork.

 

[Mydarlingdaughter]

For CHC yes the PWD also has to have medical which have to be met with nursing care needs sorry

 

[MaNaAk]

Hi,
Not good news here and I wonder about the same thing with my mum's house(s). I notice that care home fees are around £1200 - £1500 per week so renting out her house is unlikely to cover the costs unless it is the size of South Fork.

Those must be nursing home fees because dad paid £650 per week.

MaNaAk

 

[Sarasa]

I think it depends where you live @MaNaAk. Care Home fees round here are about £1500 a week, if not more.

 

[MaNaAk]

I think you're right Sarasa. We seem to have better provision for adult social care despite the cuts in this area possibly because we are only thirty miles from London and my corner of Essex is regarded as affluent although this doesn't apply to me!

MaNaAk

 

[White Rose]

I have been talking to a young lady that has a mother that has dementia that is getting very hard to look after at home,the daughter has a well documented history of mental health issues and even spends 2 days in therapy each week,she moved out of the family home to live with a partner as she couldn't cope with being in the family home as you could imagine it made her mental health worse.
Her brother that lives there is struggling now and she says that she's upset that the family home that her mother had worked hard to pay for will go on care fees,if her mother enters a home.
Can anyone give any advice as to how she could try and keep the home,if she moved back she would surely qualify for a disregard with her mental health history,she is still registered as living there is registered at the doctors and dentists with that address and stays there a couple of nights a week to help
When I spoke to her she was under the impression that she would be only able to stop there for 2 years if mum entered a home and the house would still be sold,but I said that's for a deffered payment,you would want to apply for a disregard as you qualify under the rules with your health matters,well I hope that's the case anyway.
Any help would be much appreciated

Have they thought about having a live in carer - the cost is likely to be less than care home fees.

 

[Duggies-girl]

Have they thought about having a live in carer - the cost is likely to be less than care home fees.

Actually I think a live in carer would probably cost more than a care home even at minimum wage.

 

[White Rose]

Actually I think a live in carer would probably cost more than a care home even at minimum wage.

I've heard different amounts, even as low as £600 a month because all live in expenses are included. Might be worth an advert on Care.com just to find out (assuming it's a feasible option of course - financially and in terms of available space.)

 

[Champers]

MIL was paying £6500 per month for a live in carer from an agency. Plus, on top of that, she was still paying for all her utilities and food for herself and the carer. She wasn’t getting anything special for that money. Just a young, very pleasant girl who did light housework, cooked for them both and helped MIL with toileting, washing and medication. No interaction, stimulation or taking outside. The poor girl had two hours break a day, which MIL couldn’t understand and kept calling her despite the fact the carer was trying to catch up with sleep because MIL had also been calling her throughout the night! We had to arrange additional cover - at another £350 per week (£25 an hour) - to enable this. The carer was on her knees with exhaustion, but the agency said everything was fine and dandy to social services! This was why we clashed majorly with SS about the risks and how inappropriate home care was for MIL combined with the fact that the agency didn’t seem to have any duty of care to the welfare of its own staff either. I’m sure the carer wasn’t paid anything near what MIL was paying, despite being on duty virtually 24 hours a day. Realistically, I think the final monthly bills were closer to £8000 when everything was done.

Now MIL is in a CH, she pays £3500 all inclusive. As well as all food etc, she is taken out for trips, has a team of refreshed staff available day and night. Lives in a far better environment with appropriate equipment to enable her to be washed and for mobility. Has far more interaction with a variety of people. Imaginative meals prepared. Takes part in gentle exercises - which she flatly refused to with a single carer - and although has dementia, is mentally brighter and happier. When she was being cared for in her home she talked endlessly about wanting to die, to be put down like a dog and wished she could fall asleep and not wake up. When we visit, we’re greeted with a smile now, rather than moans and tears when she was clearly clinically depressed stuck in her own four walls.

We had to really fight with a hospital SW to get the result we felt was the best for MIL because she kept saying she wanted to go home, but I think we’ve been vindicated in this instance. He believed we were motivated by money - which we actually were, because we wanted the best and most appropriate care and we didn’t believe the care in her own home represented this, particularly at the outrageous cost.

 

[MaNaAk]

I agree a live-in carer can cost more than a care home.

MaNaAk

 

[nita]

I have been talking to a young lady that has a mother that has dementia that is getting very hard to look after at home,the daughter has a well documented history of mental health issues and even spends 2 days in therapy each week,she moved out of the family home to live with a partner as she couldn't cope with being in the family home as you could imagine it made her mental health worse.
Her brother that lives there is struggling now and she says that she's upset that the family home that her mother had worked hard to pay for will go on care fees,if her mother enters a home.
Can anyone give any advice as to how she could try and keep the home,if she moved back she would surely qualify for a disregard with her mental health history,she is still registered as living there is registered at the doctors and dentists with that address and stays there a couple of nights a week to help
When I spoke to her she was under the impression that she would be only able to stop there for 2 years if mum entered a home and the house would still be sold,but I said that's for a deffered payment,you would want to apply for a disregard as you qualify under the rules with your health matters,well I hope that's the case anyway.
Any help would be much appreciated

To go back to the original message. I don't think there is any "register" of disabled people as such, at least not any more. To qualify as disabled you need to be in receipt of one of the benefits like ESA (support group) or PIP for your condition However, you say that the daughter can't endure the situation at home with her mother and she would need to be living there permanently to qualify. There is a disregard if the home is the disabled person's main residence as well as if there is a person over 60 living there.

 

[Duggies-girl]

Where I live a care home costs around £1000 a week. I know it sounds a lot but it works out at around £6 an hour so definitely cheaper than paying someone even the minimum wage to live in and having provided 24/7 care for dad for the last 10 months (shared amongst the family) I would say that anyone who does live in care for a living deserves every penny they get because it is not easy even with someone like my dad who would probably be considered a doddle by most carers

I can't believe I typed all of that in one sentence.