Carer wont arrange for elder to see GP

[Jackie123]

My Mum has had a bad cough and one of the carers, my sister and I wanted my brother to arrange for Mum to see GP.

My brother is regarded by NHS and social services as my Mum's primary carer, as he lives in same property, and my sister and I live hundreds of miles away.

My brother decided that the cough was attention seeking and declared that was his view and that he would not change his mind.

Fortunately the cough is getting better.

But at what stage would something like this became an issue, and what are my options for doing something about it?

Or should I butt out?

As Mum has several care visits a day, should I take the view that the carers (as they see Mum each day) are the best ones to form a view as to whether Mum should see a GP?

If the carer then alerts my brother and he does not arrange for Mum to see GP, then does the carer have a duty of care to raise it with their management?

And once notified does the management of care agency then have a duty of care to follow through?

I very little influence over my brother and if pushed he can be one of the most stubborn people on the planet.

So I don't want to risk making things worse for Mum.

Jackie

 

[Bod]

In general, how sensible is your brother?
Unfortunately, with living so far away there is little you can do, certainly on a day to day basis.
Carers, if they see a problem, should enter it into the Care Plan Book. Raising serious issues with their management, and if necessary with the local Safeguarding team.
You may not be informed very quickly, if at all, Data Protection etc.

Bod

 

[Jackie123]

I will look to see if anything was written in the care book when we visit next.

If it hasn't been written in, then it will have stalled at that point.

My brother is good at managing people in ways that stop them causing him hassle.

It takes a lot for me to stand up to him, so I can understand why others would look to avoid it.

He doesn't have to take Mum himself - the care agency (for a charge) would be prepared to take Mum for appointment, but he would need to book the appointment, keep Mum at home for the day (as she goes to day centre) and arrange for wheelchair friendly transport. If I had confidence in my brother to play ball, I would be prepared to sort all of that out, but I'm afraid my brother would find it rather amusing if the transport turned up and took Mum to day centre on the day of the appointment, and I would be extremely stressed.

If there was something like a broken leg from a fall I have every confidence in my brother to take appropiate action.

Jackie

 

[Sirena]

As your brother is the primary carer I think you have to leave it to him. It sounds as if he was right about the cough (even if possibly for the wrong reasons) so he has reasonably good instincts. You do have to let some things go, and as you say he would be on the case if it was a serious medical issue.

 

[Jackie123]

Thanks Sirena.

Hopefully my brother is wise enough to remember he has already had one major scrape in terms of Mum and safeguarding a couple of years ago - initially it was assumed that Dad (RIP) was the focus of social services concerns, but it later came to light it was Dad and Brother.

He probably doesn't have much of a relationship with the medical practice, as he told me that Mum had had an invite for an annual check up and he intended to ignore it. I decided not to interfer in that one.

Jackie

 

[Sirena]

I have to confess that as my mother's dementia became more advanced, I severely limited her medical appointments and she only went to things which were vital, so I may well have ignored a 'routine check up' invitation.

It's difficult to gauge the situation when you don't live nearby so I can see why you are concerned, but as your mother has daily carers they would be well placed to raise a safeguarding concern if they felt your mother was not getting the necessary medical attention.

 

[Jackie123]

I have been taking Mum for dental check ups when we visit as they have become essential - she hadn't been to dentist for 10 years even though Dad (RIP) and Brother had - the dentist is concerned about infections as her teeth are in a poor state and he wants to see her every three months.

I had been taken Mum for chronic kidney disease check ups, once I discovered these should be done every 6 months, one of them did come up trumps as the nurse (without my knowledge) had arranged a follow on appointment with GP who diagnosed a separate knee issue (I hijacked the GP appointment for the knee issue as it was a significant concern and Brother had not done anything) and Mum's medication was changed.

I am now questioning whether I should continue nurse check ups as the CKD is as it is and urine and blood tests will always show abnormal and Mum typically refuses flu jabs etc.

As you say, if the carers notice an issue they do have a duty of care to follow through.

And with the knee issue if Mum had became incapacited to the point of not being able to go to day centre my Brother probably would have done something.

I need to try to ensure my visits provide some respite for Mum and Brother, otherwise they will just became hassle and stress for all of us.