My lovely youngest son assisted me in taking his father clothes shopping yesterday. It was such a relief for me to have someone there to help me. The process of buying new clothes and shoes is so frustrating. Getting Nick's clothes off, shoes off, trying on the new clothes then getting back into his old clothes. Inevitably, Nick gets fed up with the process. He usually doesn't like what we select by the time we get home, especially with shoes. He can no longer verbalize how things feel and what it wrong. So , having my son with me gives me a second set of eyes to see how something fits him. I was never a wife who bought his clothes...until his Alzheimer's.His outward appearance and comfort is important to us both.
I wish he would go into "easier" clothing but he gets upset if not allowed to wear Levis and belts which is all getting very complicated. But it one of those issues, I no longer try to fight or change. I just accept that he has accidents from time to time, and it is often because of the Belts. I just pick my battles....
Another recent example, was the watch situation, and eventually it resolved itself with time. I got him a cheap watch and took away his Omega wristwatch which is valuable. I will eventually gift it to one of our son's or perhaps his godchild, one of the boys will get it. But in the end, since he cannot tell time anyway, he just accepted the watch exchange. It was about the feeling of having something on his wrist.
And it is about me going with the flow...what is important and what is not. Also, it is about asking for help. I can no longer take him shopping but with my son we got it accomplished. Grateful to have help....I am not someone who can do it all, I need help to keep this ball in motion....just doing the best I can.
Last night, he woke up but remained in a dream state, confused and wandering. At first I was irritated, as he had been bathed and pj'd around 9 wanting to go to bed. But then I realized what a state he was in. I simply sat him next to me and assured him we were fine and there was nothing to worry about. All was in order. He eventually went back to bed and slept thru the night , it has been a long time since he has hallucinated or been so distressed. It just shows what a day out in the shops and stress does to him.
I wish he would go into "easier" clothing but he gets upset if not allowed to wear Levis and belts which is all getting very complicated. But it one of those issues, I no longer try to fight or change. I just accept that he has accidents from time to time, and it is often because of the Belts. I just pick my battles....
Another recent example, was the watch situation, and eventually it resolved itself with time. I got him a cheap watch and took away his Omega wristwatch which is valuable. I will eventually gift it to one of our son's or perhaps his godchild, one of the boys will get it. But in the end, since he cannot tell time anyway, he just accepted the watch exchange. It was about the feeling of having something on his wrist.
And it is about me going with the flow...what is important and what is not. Also, it is about asking for help. I can no longer take him shopping but with my son we got it accomplished. Grateful to have help....I am not someone who can do it all, I need help to keep this ball in motion....just doing the best I can.
Last night, he woke up but remained in a dream state, confused and wandering. At first I was irritated, as he had been bathed and pj'd around 9 wanting to go to bed. But then I realized what a state he was in. I simply sat him next to me and assured him we were fine and there was nothing to worry about. All was in order. He eventually went back to bed and slept thru the night , it has been a long time since he has hallucinated or been so distressed. It just shows what a day out in the shops and stress does to him.
