Hi everyone, my Nan was diagnosed with vascular dementia 3 years ago and she lives in sheltered accommodation and has carers come in 4 times a day. Her neighbour who has been a god send visits her everyday and looks out for her and takes her down to the residents room for tea and cake and up until now my Nan has coped very well, crocheting everyday which is something she remembers and enjoys. However recently she has become more muddled, has become a little verbally aggressive and has no concept of time. She will get up in the night and knock on her neighbours door thinking it’s breakfast time , or will take herself off to bed at lunchtime thinking it’s night time. My mum lives abroad so I am the only one of my family who looks after her and visits so it is up to me to make decisions for her but I live 2 hours away so I try and see her as much as I can. I am struggling to decide whether it is time for her to go into a care home, as I know she is more comfortable in her own flat and she likes her routine and surroundings. I am worried if she goes into a care home she will go further down hill. The carers have said she is ok and they don’t have any concerns but my Nans neighbour has said that she has to deal with my nan more than the carers and it’s getting too much for her even though she says she would never leave her to fend for herself. Can anyone offer any advice, when is the time to consider a care home?
Does my Nan need to go into a care home?
- Thread starter Sammylou
- Start date
Hullo and welcome to the forums @Sammylou.
What a worrying time for you and for your Nan's neighbour. Sorry I have no experience of this myself, but the Alz Soc factsheets at https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/help-dementia-care/care-homes-who-decides-when might help guide you.
Good luck and now you have found us I hope you will read a few other threads for information and keep posting for support.
What a worrying time for you and for your Nan's neighbour. Sorry I have no experience of this myself, but the Alz Soc factsheets at https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/help-dementia-care/care-homes-who-decides-when might help guide you.
Good luck and now you have found us I hope you will read a few other threads for information and keep posting for support.
I usually think that when people start asking the question it it wont be long before they need it, or perhaps even that they need it now.
I would start to look around at care homes to see what is available and what they are like, so that if there is a sudden downturn you know where you would like her to go. I dont know whether she would need Local Authority funding (if she has savings plus property that she owns which amounts to under £25,000), but if she does then ask whether they would accept the LA rate, or whether they would require a top-op (which would have to paid by you and therefore best avoided). Make sure you look beyond the decor and look to see what the actual care is like.
I would start to look around at care homes to see what is available and what they are like, so that if there is a sudden downturn you know where you would like her to go. I dont know whether she would need Local Authority funding (if she has savings plus property that she owns which amounts to under £25,000), but if she does then ask whether they would accept the LA rate, or whether they would require a top-op (which would have to paid by you and therefore best avoided). Make sure you look beyond the decor and look to see what the actual care is like.
Hi Sammylou, yes it's very worrying especially when you live a long way off. First thing I'd actually c if you can get her checked by her GP just incase she has a urinary infection as that may explain a sudden change and especially the confusion. Other than that if the carers are visiting her regularly and feel that they can manage her then it's also for them to tell you if they feel she needs more care. At least she us getting those visits so you know she's being kept an eye on. It is tricky with the kind neighbour because obviously you don't want her taking the burden and she's telling you your nan isn't managing so it's very worrying for you.
It's a hard decision but I don't think you can be expected to make that decision on your own. I'd definitely go for getting her seen medically in the 1st instance and then get some advice from social services aswell so they can assess her needs. I totally understand that you don't really want to move her, there may come a time when that's necessary but you prob need more info to be in a position to make that decision.
Dont know if that helps, I'm sure others on this forum will be able to offer advice. Good luck and keep us posted.
It's a hard decision but I don't think you can be expected to make that decision on your own. I'd definitely go for getting her seen medically in the 1st instance and then get some advice from social services aswell so they can assess her needs. I totally understand that you don't really want to move her, there may come a time when that's necessary but you prob need more info to be in a position to make that decision.
Dont know if that helps, I'm sure others on this forum will be able to offer advice. Good luck and keep us posted.
Thank you so much both for your replies and help, just having different perspectives on things is a big help. I got Nan checked by the doctor today and she has a chest infection so has been prescribed antibiotics so hopefully she will feel better soon and perhaps this was adding to her confusion. Thank you both again I will most definitely take your advice on the care home situation and will keep you posted.
Hi @Sammylou...welcome to the forum. It must be hard looking after your nan on your own, is it possible for your mum to share decisions with you,even tho she's so far away? And if you are thinking of something major like a CH do you have Power of Attorney for your nan? If you haven't, and she still has capacity to consent to it, it would be a good idea to get that ball rolling asap. This will get you started, and there are many people on the forum who can help you with further advice, take care
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/legal-financial/lasting-power-attorney
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/legal-financial/lasting-power-attorney
