I got a call out of the blue today whilst at work. I'd noticed several missed calls from unknown number and thought better answer even though at work. GP says he's just been to c mum at care home and wants to go through some questions re end of life care. A bit of a shock and I asked if we could do this at another time as I'm at work and its something that needs a bit of thought and privacy. I explain it's chaotic and noisy and we've just had a fire drill and the phone signal is poor.
However, he launches into "would you want her to die at the home rather than hospital"? I reiterate again its difficult to have this conversation right now and whilst he shows some sympathy, he then explains it will only take 5 minutes. He's reluctant to reschedule the conversation to another day but I get him to agree to calling me in an hour and a half as a compromise. He calls earlier and I have to make apologies to my boss who I'm in a meeting with and off we go again. It's painful. I know it needs doing and the questions are relevant but I find the insensitivity and lack of warning quite incredible. Surely it would be usual to have a bit of advance notice about this sort of conversation so you could really think about it and be prepared. I mentioned that I had POA for health and would like to look over it and that ideally we would have met and discussed some of this with mum as she still has opinions and views about this. He actually said he only saw my mum in passing. I do realise that questions such as DNR status are important but is it normal practice to get a call like this out of the blue and be pressured to respond in this way?
I could complain but don't know whether I can face that in view of the myriad of other hassles and battles there are. In the scheme of things I guess this is just an irritation but I did find it quite upsetting and insensitive.
Has anyone else experienced this sort of thing out of the blue? As I said I know it needs doing it was just the way it was done that bugged me.
However, he launches into "would you want her to die at the home rather than hospital"? I reiterate again its difficult to have this conversation right now and whilst he shows some sympathy, he then explains it will only take 5 minutes. He's reluctant to reschedule the conversation to another day but I get him to agree to calling me in an hour and a half as a compromise. He calls earlier and I have to make apologies to my boss who I'm in a meeting with and off we go again. It's painful. I know it needs doing and the questions are relevant but I find the insensitivity and lack of warning quite incredible. Surely it would be usual to have a bit of advance notice about this sort of conversation so you could really think about it and be prepared. I mentioned that I had POA for health and would like to look over it and that ideally we would have met and discussed some of this with mum as she still has opinions and views about this. He actually said he only saw my mum in passing. I do realise that questions such as DNR status are important but is it normal practice to get a call like this out of the blue and be pressured to respond in this way?
I could complain but don't know whether I can face that in view of the myriad of other hassles and battles there are. In the scheme of things I guess this is just an irritation but I did find it quite upsetting and insensitive.
Has anyone else experienced this sort of thing out of the blue? As I said I know it needs doing it was just the way it was done that bugged me.
Last edited: