Not drinking enough to keep a sparrow alive

CWR

Registered User
Mar 17, 2019
212
0
Since her cold and subsequent falls, mum hasn't been great at eating or drinking, not to mention mobility. I know hospitals are in dire need of beds, but do they need to send vulnerable, frail patients home when they are clearly not well?
She is hardly drinking at all; her incontinence pants are dry from yesterday, so no urine passed at all in the last day. I struggle to give her sips in between the four carers' visits, but after one or two sips, she says: thats enough. I just feel so helpless, watching her. It breaks my heart. I am going to see about care next week, but keeping her from getting dehydrated is a big big worry till then.Even raspberries, she eats one and spits the rest out. I am at my wits' end.
 

Sirena

Registered User
Feb 27, 2018
2,324
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Sorry to hear this, it must be very worrying for you. You are right your mother needs professional care, but unfortunately IME hospitals are a very bad environment for people with dementia and the staff are no good at providing the sort of care she needs. The hospital could put her on a drip, but when they did that for my mother she just kept ripping it out, and she got no other help with eating or drinking. Your mother needs carers who specialise in dementia and have the time and skills to help her, if you are intending to look for a care home that could be a good solution.

In the meantime have you tried giving her sweet drinks like smoothies and fruit juices? My mother would drink those even when she refused other drinks.

Has she seen the GP recently? I wonder if she is still in pain, which is making her unwilling to eat.
 

CWR

Registered User
Mar 17, 2019
212
0
Sorry to hear this, it must be very worrying for you. You are right your mother needs professional care, but unfortunately IME hospitals are a very bad environment for people with dementia and the staff are no good at providing the sort of care she needs. The hospital could put her on a drip, but when they did that for my mother she just kept ripping it out, and she got no other help with eating or drinking. Your mother needs carers who specialise in dementia and have the time and skills to help her, if you are intending to look for a care home that could be a good solution.

In the meantime have you tried giving her sweet drinks like smoothies and fruit juices? My mother would drink those even when she refused other drinks.

Has she seen the GP recently? I wonder if she is still in pain, which is making her unwilling to eat.
I called the discharge team and they said to call the doc, which I did. I am waiting for her to come at present.If she does go in, she will need to go into a home afterwards. I am worn out and frazzled and can hardly think straight anymore.I recognise too late that there are limits to what one person can do.
 

CWR

Registered User
Mar 17, 2019
212
0
Sorry to hear this, it must be very worrying for you. You are right your mother needs professional care, but unfortunately IME hospitals are a very bad environment for people with dementia and the staff are no good at providing the sort of care she needs. The hospital could put her on a drip, but when they did that for my mother she just kept ripping it out, and she got no other help with eating or drinking. Your mother needs carers who specialise in dementia and have the time and skills to help her, if you are intending to look for a care home that could be a good solution.

In the meantime have you tried giving her sweet drinks like smoothies and fruit juices? My mother would drink those even when she refused other drinks.
I chatted to the doc, who said we cd monitor her overnight, or send her to hospital now.I am too tired to contemplate waiting overnight, so I said to take her to hospital and hopefully we cn sort something out with social workers at the start of the week.
Has she seen the GP recently? I wonder if she is still in pain, which is making her unwilling to eat.
 

CWR

Registered User
Mar 17, 2019
212
0
I called the discharge team and they said to call the doc, which I did. I am waiting for her to come at present.If she does go in, she will need to go into a home afterwards. I am worn out and frazzled and can hardly think straight anymore.I recognise too late that there are limits to what one person can do.
I decided, after chatting to the doc, to have her taken to hospital over the weekend, since I cant cope any more. I recognise that I have reached the end of my tether. After that, we will see about a care home.
 

Sirena

Registered User
Feb 27, 2018
2,324
0
That sounds a good plan, I hope you can find a good care home placement for her. Let us know how it goes.
 

Splashing About

Registered User
Oct 20, 2019
434
0
CWR I have just been through this with mum. She went from hospital to Nursing home.

Challenges:
Seeing her in hospital
Occupational therapist not finding out enough about her before trying to discharge her within hours of admission
Being told she didn’t have advanced dementia against what we knew (she does)
Trooping around totally unsuitable homes because we were told she didn’t have advanced dementia or need nursing homes
Being told she was end of life dementia a day later... (She was on admission but assumptions about her recovering had been made before finding out what her baseline was to recover to!)

Good things:
It’s easier to go to a NH from hospital than from home I think
3 weeks in hospital helped us all adjust to her not being at home,
We saw her cope in another environment
Dad has slept, eaten properly, showered, rested and can think straight, get on with jobs and visit her fully rested
A hospital team helped coordinate her needs assessment and also organised CHC application
She left with a funded end of life fast tracked CHC package.

I think their need for the bed focuses them on getting a nursing home so it does become easier.
 

CWR

Registered User
Mar 17, 2019
212
0
Sorry to hear this, it must be very worrying for you. You are right your mother needs professional care, but unfortunately IME hospitals are a very bad environment for people with dementia and the staff are no good at providing the sort of care she needs. The hospital could put her on a drip, but when they did that for my mother she just kept ripping it out, and she got no other help with eating or drinking. Your mother needs carers who specialise in dementia and have the time and skills to help her, if you are intending to look for a care home that could be a good solution.

In the meantime have you tried giving her sweet drinks like smoothies and fruit juices? My mother would drink those even when she refused other drinks.

Has she seen the GP recently? I wonder if she is still in pain, which is making her unwilling to eat.
She has been in the hospital for a week now, and she is drinking a little but eating little.She chews a bit but takes it out. I mentioned the possibility of fortified drinks like Ensure, but surely the hospital should have been thinking of this? I am not paid to do their job, so I am a bit annoyed.
 

Louise7

Volunteer Host
Mar 25, 2016
4,693
0
Unfortunately from personal experience communication in hospital is bad and you have to keep speaking up to get anything done. Who did you mention the possibility of fortified drinks to? If it was the care/nursing staff then the message may not have been passed on. Speak to your Mum's consultant and mention the reduction in eating/drinking and ask if they have made a referral to the dietician - the dietician arranged for my Mum to have fortified drinks when she was in hospital, not the medical team. Hopefully your Mum will be discharged soon as hospitals are really not good places for those with dementia.
 

CWR

Registered User
Mar 17, 2019
212
0
Unfortunately from personal experience communication in hospital is bad and you have to keep speaking up to get anything done. Who did you mention the possibility of fortified drinks to? If it was the care/nursing staff then the message may not have been passed on. Speak to your Mum's consultant and mention the reduction in eating/drinking and ask if they have made a referral to the dietician - the dietician arranged for my Mum to have fortified drinks when she was in hospital, not the medical team. Hopefully your Mum will be discharged soon as hospitals are really not good places for those with dementia.
They are keeping her in until they find a place in a care/nursing home.I am a bit worried because I am going away from Wednesday to Monday for a much-needed break, and just hope she will be ok. You never stop worrying.
 

Louise7

Volunteer Host
Mar 25, 2016
4,693
0
I know what you mean. I had a 3 day break during one of Mum's hospital admissions and although you don't stop worrying I was able to relax for some of the time so try to make the most of your break if you can.
 

CWR

Registered User
Mar 17, 2019
212
0
I know what you mean. I had a 3 day break during one of Mum's hospital admissions and although you don't stop worrying I was able to relax for some of the time so try to make the most of your break if you can.
The woman who does her hair visited her yesterday, found her well. I hope to have others visit her while I am away. Also, they have started her on fortified drinks at last. I feel a bit more relaxed.
 

CWR

Registered User
Mar 17, 2019
212
0
The woman who does her hair visited her yesterday, found her well. I hope to have others visit her while I am away. Also, they have started her on fortified drinks at last. I feel a bit more relaxed.
I came back today, and visited mum, but it was heart-breaking. She is hardly eating or drinking at all. I went through this with my aunt. I am still in shock to be honest, since it all happened so quickly. I fear she won't have long in her nursing home at this rate.
 

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