Safety v independence

[Mrsmiffa]

Hi
Joined this group today and wanted to glean any advice.
My brother and I started to notice mum's forgetfulness approx 2years ago, she obviously denied any issue and refused to go to the GP, we eventually got her there in march this year, and a referral to the memory clinic quickly followed. Several tests and a scan led to a diagnosis last week of Alzheimer's. We are trying our best to ensure she stays as independent as possible,she has a relatively full life, we're noticing she is not eating properly,have found some quite funky things in her fridge and freezer(she gets the two confused) and she is not as house proud as she once was. However if we dare suggest we help her with this it's met with absolute refusal and denial. How does everyone else juggle this. Any advice would be great.

 

[BIWO]

My late Mum lived 'independently' for a while after her Dementia diagnosis. The problem I found that she was in 'denial' . I would find out of date items and items that had gone off in the fridge and to be honest no idea if she was eating or not. You are really looking at a private agency service where they drop in around meal times to ensure they are eating. (Her situation started to unravel fairly rapidly as she started 'wandering' at strange times into the corridor of the retirement complex she was living in and came to live with me for a while) What you need to consider it what happens when your Mum is not independent and unfortunately with this disease it all leads to this path. Nobody knows how long that journey will be - wish you the best as my Mum's dementia was something which was very challenging to deal with.

 

[karaokePete]

Hello @Mrsmiffa you are welcome here and I hope you find the forum to be a friendly and supportive place.

Your question is hard to answer as it's just a matter of eternal vigilance and providing the help without it being too obvious. In my case it's my wife who has dementia and I have just had to take over all household duties as the years have passed and, this year, even had to restrict her going out alone because of a safeguarding issue that arose in the summer. It's heartbreaking but I have found my wife to be more compliant as her condition has deteriorated, as it always will.

I hope you have time to take a good look around the site as it is a goldmine for information. When I first joined I read old threads for information but then found the AS Publications list and the page where a post code search can be done to check for support services in ones own area. If you are interested in these, clicking the following links will take you there

https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/publications-factsheets-full-list

https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/find-support-near-you

You will see that there are Factsheets that will help with things like getting care needs assessments, deciding the level of care required and sorting out useful things like Wills, Power of Attorney etc., if any of that hasn't already been done. There is also a Dementia Guide in the list.

Now that you have found us I hope you will keep posting as the membership has vast collective knowledge and experience.