Not responding.

Leon80

New member
Nov 18, 2019
5
0
I’ve put my first thread about my mums final stages on the wrong section yesterday,
Anyway l’m at my mums today and she is not responding at all , just sleeping and now and again eyes just flickering closed.
My mother is not taking any fluids now since last night as we cannot wake her..
Could someone please tell us what is best to do at this stage as it’s so upsetting seeing her like this and cannot do anything to help ..
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
25,018
0
South coast
I am sorry @Leon80
You are now in the last long vigil.

Your mum may not be able to respond, but she will be able to hear as hearing is the last thing to go.
Talk to her. Tell about herself - the things you remember, the family stories - so that she knows who she is.
Remember to say the important things - I love you, thank you, Im sorry and (if appropriate) I forgive you.
Read to her - I read to mum from her favourite childhood books - Winnie the Pooh, Wind in the Willows and Alice in Wonderland.
Play her favourite music.

The district nurses can give you little brushes or sponges which you can use to moisten her mouth.
Put moisturising cream on her dry skin and salve on her lips so that she is more comfortable.
Comb her hair
Stroke her hand

This stage can go on for several days (with mum it was 17 days, but they do not usually go on for that long) so look after yourself too.
There will be many changes, but the one that will tell you that you are right at the end is when her breathing changes - there will start to be long gaps in between some of the breaths. It is known as Chayne Stokes breathing and there are usually only hours to go after it starts.

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
 

Leon80

New member
Nov 18, 2019
5
0
My mother sadly passed away this afternoon and l feel totally numb , but the only comfort is all the family were around the house ..
 

LynneMcV

Volunteer Moderator
May 9, 2012
6,116
0
south-east London
My sincere condolences too @Leon80. It is an awful time, I know, but I am glad you can take some comfort from the fact that all the family were present. Wishing you strength at this difficult time.
 

Kikki21

Registered User
Feb 27, 2016
2,270
0
East Midlands
So sorry to read this @Leon80 - it is a horrible time for sure but please take comfort that your mum was around her family at the time & that her passing was peaceful - big hugs to you all.
 

Leon80

New member
Nov 18, 2019
5
0
Thank you for your kind reply’s , most if not all on this site have gone through this and so you will know what we are going through at the present moment.
My mind was working overtime last night so was awake since 3.00am as l could sleep, every so often having a cry but l’m trying to stay strong for my family as l don’t want them to see me upset.:
Been to my mothers today and it just strange, sad and cannot believe l won’t see her again.
Anyway thanks again for the reply’s...