Thanks @Grannie G I will look at them both x
Mum had her folder out and was looking in it again this morning. Each thing she picked out to read she asked 'when did I get this?' There are about a dozen things in the folder so thats a dozen questions and a dozen answers from me of 'On monday at the memory clinic' and then about a 50/50 split of either 'Did I go?' or 'oh I think I remember that'. I'm not sure if leaving it out is a good or bad thing.
I thought maybe if she kept noticing it eventually little bits would start to sneak in and it may help with her coming round to idea of having outside help.
But she also says she can't understand a lot of it, can't remember reading it and that upsets her. I think maybe all the talking about it yesterday made her confusion and worry worse.
Mum does keep asking about her memory and care and related things a lot though anyway and so is upset about it often. Its very hard because I know that most of what we talk about doesn't go in and stay there and mum struggles making sense of it. I feel like most of the time there's no point talking about it as I know we won't get anywhere or come to agreement on what to do, but once on the subject mum won't stop until she has had enough and then that's it no more talking about things. Things are left unresolved and we're both upset.
I also struggle with this because I have always been a logical, talk things out until agree a solution type person, and also a very logical arguer with lots of examples in my arguments which has driven my family, and some customers who used to try it on where I used to work, mad for years as I do not give up. Most of my family are the shout and complain then leave it and just hope doesn't happen again, or leave me alone I'm annoyed and won't talk to you till I decide you've suffered enough type of arguers, so we don't mix well that way.
My way is no good with mum now I know and I am usually willing to stop and usually notice when I slip into that mode quite quickly now and stop myself, but it is very frustrating as once mum starts on a subject she won't leave it for ages and goes round and round not understanding it.
Decisions need to be made, but how do we do that when I have no say over what mum does, she has to make her own mind up and yet doesn't understand the problems, or the options and also changes her mind constantly. I feel like its impossible
Mum had her folder out and was looking in it again this morning. Each thing she picked out to read she asked 'when did I get this?' There are about a dozen things in the folder so thats a dozen questions and a dozen answers from me of 'On monday at the memory clinic' and then about a 50/50 split of either 'Did I go?' or 'oh I think I remember that'. I'm not sure if leaving it out is a good or bad thing.
I thought maybe if she kept noticing it eventually little bits would start to sneak in and it may help with her coming round to idea of having outside help.
But she also says she can't understand a lot of it, can't remember reading it and that upsets her. I think maybe all the talking about it yesterday made her confusion and worry worse.
Mum does keep asking about her memory and care and related things a lot though anyway and so is upset about it often. Its very hard because I know that most of what we talk about doesn't go in and stay there and mum struggles making sense of it. I feel like most of the time there's no point talking about it as I know we won't get anywhere or come to agreement on what to do, but once on the subject mum won't stop until she has had enough and then that's it no more talking about things. Things are left unresolved and we're both upset.
I also struggle with this because I have always been a logical, talk things out until agree a solution type person, and also a very logical arguer with lots of examples in my arguments which has driven my family, and some customers who used to try it on where I used to work, mad for years as I do not give up. Most of my family are the shout and complain then leave it and just hope doesn't happen again, or leave me alone I'm annoyed and won't talk to you till I decide you've suffered enough type of arguers, so we don't mix well that way.
My way is no good with mum now I know and I am usually willing to stop and usually notice when I slip into that mode quite quickly now and stop myself, but it is very frustrating as once mum starts on a subject she won't leave it for ages and goes round and round not understanding it.
Decisions need to be made, but how do we do that when I have no say over what mum does, she has to make her own mind up and yet doesn't understand the problems, or the options and also changes her mind constantly. I feel like its impossible