what can we do for our mother in final stages..

[Leon80]

Hello everyone,
I’m new on this site and l wish l never had to use it but unfortunately l do as my mother had dementia and l think she’s in her final stage of this cruel illness.
Only a few weeks ago she was eating a little and holding a cup to sip liquid, she has been bed bound at home for about a year.
Anyway over the last few weeks she has got weak and doesn’t eat anymore and we give her liquid as she doesn’t hold a beaker anymore.. my mother sleeps most the time and has lost so much weight in weeks and just pushes drinks away when l try and give her some in a beaker . My mother’s eyes are mostly shut and when l talk to her it s a struggle to open her eyes before closing again.
At these final stages as my mother doesn’t respond to talking to her ... Can she hear me.
What can l do to help her in anyway..
Advice would be a help at this sad time ..
Thank you

 

[Pete1]

Hi @Leon80, I can empathize with you. Your Mum can still hear you even if she can't visibly respond. Please keep talking to her and reassuring her and telling her about what is going on with your day to day and the rest of the family. You don't mention in your post but have you engaged with your GP to arrange end of life care, which can include pain relief?

 

[Leon80]

Yes we have the G.P who comes out and check her yesterday.
All my mothers checks were ok, pulse, heartbeat , temperature and chest/lungs for infection.
It’s just that she is sleeping all the time but does move her arms and legs around a lot.
When l talk there is no indication that my mother can hear me as the head doesn’t move and eyes are closed , she will try opening her eyes but closes them again as it seems this is hard to do also.
So l don’t know If she understands what lm saying.

 

[Pete1]

Hi @Leon80, the GP advised me (and I have read it on information re end of life) that the hearing can continue for some time after it visually appears that the person you love can no longer communicate. So please keep talking to your Mum and reassuring her. If she does become uncomfortable )i.e. aggitated) the GP should arrange for appropriate pain relief. All the best.

 

[Welleroo]

Hold her hand, play music she used to enjoy, nice smells etc .. She’s resting before her big adventure into another world ❤️