My mum is 88 and has been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, not helped by her high levels of anxiety, which she has suffered on and off for many years. She was married to my dad for 64 years, living for most of that time in the same family home where I was born and raised. We lost dad to cancer 4 years ago, and after a steady decline mum moved into residential care about a year ago.
As I have LPA I made the decision to sell the family home, after discussing with mum the pointlessness of the house sitting empty and falling into disrepair. She agreed at the time, but the memory of that conversation is gone and she now often says ‘you haven’t sold my house, have you?’. Depending on her current state of mind, and depending on how out of the blue the question comes, I either give her the answer I think she wants to hear (and say ‘no’) or I tough it out and say yes, reminding her of our conversation. This second course of action often leaves her upset and angry, so much so that I have to leave.
I don’t want to lie to mum, but sometimes this feels the kindest thing to do. Can anyone offer any advice and guidance on how I deal with this. I’ve tried distraction but I’m not very good at it (I must work on my poker face) and she sees right through it and refuses to be distracted.
Many thanks
David
As I have LPA I made the decision to sell the family home, after discussing with mum the pointlessness of the house sitting empty and falling into disrepair. She agreed at the time, but the memory of that conversation is gone and she now often says ‘you haven’t sold my house, have you?’. Depending on her current state of mind, and depending on how out of the blue the question comes, I either give her the answer I think she wants to hear (and say ‘no’) or I tough it out and say yes, reminding her of our conversation. This second course of action often leaves her upset and angry, so much so that I have to leave.
I don’t want to lie to mum, but sometimes this feels the kindest thing to do. Can anyone offer any advice and guidance on how I deal with this. I’ve tried distraction but I’m not very good at it (I must work on my poker face) and she sees right through it and refuses to be distracted.
Many thanks
David