Hello
New here and hoping for some advice. My mum is 80 in a few weeks. She was showing signs of dementia and we were in the process of getting her diagnosed (saw the psychologist and was awaiting an MRI scan). 3 weeks ago she contracted a UTI which led to delirium, which in turn has accelerated her dementia symptoms - she doesn’t recognise her home or the fact that she’s in hospital, as well as other serious cognitive problems. She is now doubly incontinent (previously was with her bladder only). Her mobility has deteriorated due to other health issues and we were looking to get a carer, but is now worse and she needs help with everything including now the toilet. She has also been diagnosed with vascular dementia.
I should also add I’m her son, who doesn’t live with her, and I have a sister (who has a 5 month old baby) who lives with her and cares for her.
So mum has been in hospital for three weeks. Last week the OT and doctor said she’s about as well as she’s going to get, that it’s too much of a risk for her to go home, and that the best thing would be to go into a nursing home. They said she needs 24 hour care, and the home care that would be provided (carers calling 4 times per day and no overnight care) would be insufficient. She fell over twice in the hospital, and they have alarmed her chair as she keeps trying to get up and leave. My sister and I agreed she should go into a home, mum not keen when we’ve mentioned it (yet to have a proper talk to her about it).
Where I need advice is dealing with the social worker. My mum doesn’t have much in the way of wealth, and is on full benefits. She phoned last week to say she will carry out an assessment on my mum. I said ok. Today she calls and says she recommends that she goes home... apparently we need to exhaust the other care options. “I can’t go back to my manager and recommend we put her in a placement when she hasn’t had a care package before!” was the reasoning. When I asked how my sister was going to cope she said they can put adaptions such hoists. Hoists!!!!
Today some letters arrived to my mum’s. One was to offer her carers at a cost and set up the direct debit (just before all this we applied for care from the local authority). The other said she was not eligible for NHS funding care. A copy of the assessment was sent, which said she hasn’t been formally diagnosed with dementia (the assessment was carried out after the doctor told me she has vascular dementia ).
While I love my mum dearly a home is the best place for her... my sister can’t cope with a baby and mum. I’m working long hours and and help where I can, but we just can’t give mum the care she needs. I discussed with the doctor the possibility of putting her in the home 3 mins walk from me. He said he’d recommend it to social services - fat lot of good that was eh!
So she has said she will arrange a meeting between me, my sister, a nurse , the OT and herself on Monday. I would be grateful to know the best way to deal with this and would welcome any advice from those who have been in a similar situation.... the social worker seemed to suggest the only people who are completely bedridden get nursing care funded. Any chance my mum will get funding?
Thanks for reading if you made it this far!
New here and hoping for some advice. My mum is 80 in a few weeks. She was showing signs of dementia and we were in the process of getting her diagnosed (saw the psychologist and was awaiting an MRI scan). 3 weeks ago she contracted a UTI which led to delirium, which in turn has accelerated her dementia symptoms - she doesn’t recognise her home or the fact that she’s in hospital, as well as other serious cognitive problems. She is now doubly incontinent (previously was with her bladder only). Her mobility has deteriorated due to other health issues and we were looking to get a carer, but is now worse and she needs help with everything including now the toilet. She has also been diagnosed with vascular dementia.
I should also add I’m her son, who doesn’t live with her, and I have a sister (who has a 5 month old baby) who lives with her and cares for her.
So mum has been in hospital for three weeks. Last week the OT and doctor said she’s about as well as she’s going to get, that it’s too much of a risk for her to go home, and that the best thing would be to go into a nursing home. They said she needs 24 hour care, and the home care that would be provided (carers calling 4 times per day and no overnight care) would be insufficient. She fell over twice in the hospital, and they have alarmed her chair as she keeps trying to get up and leave. My sister and I agreed she should go into a home, mum not keen when we’ve mentioned it (yet to have a proper talk to her about it).
Where I need advice is dealing with the social worker. My mum doesn’t have much in the way of wealth, and is on full benefits. She phoned last week to say she will carry out an assessment on my mum. I said ok. Today she calls and says she recommends that she goes home... apparently we need to exhaust the other care options. “I can’t go back to my manager and recommend we put her in a placement when she hasn’t had a care package before!” was the reasoning. When I asked how my sister was going to cope she said they can put adaptions such hoists. Hoists!!!!
Today some letters arrived to my mum’s. One was to offer her carers at a cost and set up the direct debit (just before all this we applied for care from the local authority). The other said she was not eligible for NHS funding care. A copy of the assessment was sent, which said she hasn’t been formally diagnosed with dementia (the assessment was carried out after the doctor told me she has vascular dementia ).
While I love my mum dearly a home is the best place for her... my sister can’t cope with a baby and mum. I’m working long hours and and help where I can, but we just can’t give mum the care she needs. I discussed with the doctor the possibility of putting her in the home 3 mins walk from me. He said he’d recommend it to social services - fat lot of good that was eh!
So she has said she will arrange a meeting between me, my sister, a nurse , the OT and herself on Monday. I would be grateful to know the best way to deal with this and would welcome any advice from those who have been in a similar situation.... the social worker seemed to suggest the only people who are completely bedridden get nursing care funded. Any chance my mum will get funding?
Thanks for reading if you made it this far!
