Howto get used to being on own now husband in care home
- Thread starter Nandi
- Start date
I think it is at first @Nandi. It`s hard to switch off and hand over totally to care staff. It`s a hole in your life which is impossible to fill even though it can reduce in size over time.
I visited daily at first and our son visited at the weekends. After a while, I honed it down to alternate days and actually managed a couple of short holidays too.
The time came when I visited and left the room for a short while, my husband greeted me as if I hadn`t been there 5 minutes earlier. I realised his concept of time had gone and he could only live in the moment.
I visited my husband every day for 2 and a half years, apart from a few days breaks to visit my daughter who lives 400 miles away.
I'm glad I did, as I knew how precious these last times together were.
If you can cope, it's not only the person you are visiting. Other residents become part of your visits.
I helped my husband with his evening meal.... At 4.30pm!
The staff welcomed me and my help.
I would stay with him in his room, and talk to him , with the door locked so we would not be distracted and disturbed by residents popping in!
But I usually went in for the afternoon, took him out for a drive,when he could cope with the car. When he could no longer work out how to get in, and was unable to walk , I got an electric wheelchair to go out of the home with him, round the local area. There is a canal and a park where he enjoyed seeing ducks and children. For a while.
The time together is going to go . Make the most of it.
Hug if possible.
And tell him that you love him.
I would like to think my husband knew that I was there even when recognition was not showing.
Best wishes and a hug to you too. It is tough.
