Sugar in her coffee

LHS

Registered User
Oct 5, 2018
80
0
My mum has never really liked animals or pets but she was at a garden centre with a friend and started raving about how cute a small fluffy toy sheep was. Totally not in character. She also hugs people now, she would never have done that previously.
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
2,119
0
Bedford
My mum has never really liked animals or pets but she was at a garden centre with a friend and started raving about how cute a small fluffy toy sheep was. Totally not in character. She also hugs people now, she would never have done that previously.
I think me and Mum only started hugging in the last few months. We were never a ‘huggy ’ family
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
2,119
0
Bedford
So up early to Mum’s and joined her for brekkie as she had been really busy for 2 hours (doing what I asked myself) and not had time to eat. Actually sorting out clothes went better than expected as I managed to keep her focused. I did put a few items back in her wardrobe when her neighbour popped by. Most washed and ironed and ready to pack. List made of all personal stuff that can’t be prepacked so I can check them as I pack on Tuesday morning. Some photos sorted to make the room a bit more personal for the ‘trial’. Short list of things we need to buy tomorrow. Mum seems to only own 3 pairs of socks and 1 pair of tights which she must have been washing each night. Must remember to sort her some shoes out tomorrow as well. The ‘This is me’ document just needs to be written out so it can be read. Tablets also to be collected and packed. Then I just need to remember all I have forgotten.:D
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
2,119
0
Bedford
The ‘This is me’ document is good but I felt ‘Mum’ was lost in all the facts. I contacted 4 of her friends and asked them to describe Mum in 3 words. I have then put these ‘descriptive’ words on the front of the form in felt tip pen. Anyway nearly all packed now - just a few odds and ends in the morning. Off to the physio and then drive to Mum’s new abode. Today was not a good day for Mum and she did ask where Dad was a couple of times this evening and then realised she was confused. Hopefully tomorrow we can get the inner ‘adventurous ’ Mum who traveled to Aussie on her own at 75.
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
2,119
0
Bedford
So proud of my Mum today coping with the news of her sister dying. She cried as expected and has spent the day alternating between talking about her sister and about the Care Home she is moving to. She is now wondering if she will have a deluxe room. (Answer no !!!)
I remember when my Dad died she came and picked me and my friend up from the airport and chatted away until we got home. Then she told me my Dad had died the day before. She had loved him dearly. A brave lady.
Tomorrow we head to the Care Home - her decision and choice or as she put it - my bags are packed so I might as well go.
On a side note she was trying to remember something but couldn’t but suddenly said ‘ I think my brain needs a good wash to make it work again ‘ :(:(
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
4,160
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56
North West
Oh bless your mum. I have been watching todays events. Just to say a huge big good luck for tomorrow and your mum, I hope she settles and just takes it in her stride xxx
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
2,119
0
Bedford
Oh bless your mum. I have been watching todays events. Just to say a huge big good luck for tomorrow and your mum, I hope she settles and just takes it in her stride xxx
Thank you. When Mum has been like she has today you would never know she had the diagnosis - only this evening has her speech deteriorated and her repetition / confusion increased
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
4,160
0
56
North West
Thank you. When Mum has been like she has today you would never know she had the diagnosis - only this evening has her speech deteriorated and her repetition / confusion increased

yes I recognise that she's getting tired, best leave things now until she has slept. Hope you have a restful night
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
2,119
0
Bedford
So it is done. Yesterday started well as Mum’s neighbour/friend came round and they chatted whilst I loaded the car. We drove down and met my OH at the home. Some lovely staff took us to Mum’s room and then we went into lunch. Good start and then we unloaded the car and took Mum’s stuff to her room. Unpacked and tried to make it homely with some photos and a plant (taking that this a 4 week trial). Left OH with Mum whilst I did the paperwork. OH left and it all kicked off - why am I here? What is really happenings? When are we going home? Lots of calm responses and reassurances and repeating it is just to try and see if you like it here. Not happy but did have some tea in her room. She spoke to my Cousin (in her stress she had totally forgotten that she had spoken to my cousin). Cousin reassured her she would let her know when Aunt’s funeral is. Also put my Dad’s photo on the bedside table and told her that he would look after her. She seemed to settle then. stayed until 8.30 and then left her with a big hug and told her how much I loved her and that I would be back in the morning
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
2,119
0
Bedford
What a difference this morning. She was full of smiles and had met the other 3 residents on her floor for breakfast. We went to the lounge and had some coffee and then the ‘activities coordinator’ came to take her down to the residential area to join in ‘play your cards right’. She had never seen it on telly but quickly picked it up. More laughs and smiles and after she started to chat to the other 2 ladies there. I ‘disappeared’ to a different part of the building whilst she had her lunch with the ‘residential’ ladies. Talking to the staff later she had made a friend and had happily chatted away. After lunch I went back up to her floor and she was sitting in her area (for those with dementia) starting to ‘paint her fairy door’ She told me I could go home and that I did not need to go tomorrow. Result :) she is happy and so am I. 1 other lady is probably at about the same stage as Mum but the other 2 are further along their journeys so the plan is that Mum will spent lots of time in the residential area as well. A day for me tomorrow as OH is out all day.
 

silver'lantern

Registered User
Apr 23, 2019
208
0
Just been catching up @Bikerbeth . Well done it all seems to have gone really smoothly. I am so pleased for you that mum has settled well. Now you can relax a little knowing she is safe, looked after and happy.
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
2,119
0
Bedford
Glad your mum has taken to it, hopefully she will settle in now. The activities sound good and great your mum joins in :)
I was quite surprised she joined in - I did not think they were her kind of thing’. As she had said to me earlier that she did not know what she was going to do all day I was so glad she gave both activities ago. I must admit I enjoyed the ‘play your cards right’ as it was just such a lovely atmosphere :D
 
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Pete1

Registered User
Jul 16, 2019
899
0
Good Morning @Bikerbeth, it sounds very positive for your Mum (and of course you too!!), not only does your Mum seem to have settled well but she is having a much richer experience having activities and others around her. I hope you enjoy your 'day off'
 

Sirena

Registered User
Feb 27, 2018
2,324
0
I hope your mum is still enjoying it. I know my mother really benefitted from having company and it sounds as if your mum does too. Well done on getting her there!
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
2,119
0
Bedford
So angry. I know insignificant compared to the issues that others have or have had but when Mum is self funding I do expect them to do at least what they said they would do.
Thursday was such a good happy day for Mum full of activities and chatting. Yesterday one of the staff members took her for a walk outside after she said she was bored. However from lunch onwards she was left with the other 3 people on the dementia floor in the lounge. They mainly sleep so no conversation for Mum. I was told Mum would go to the standard residential areas for lunch and could sit and chat in their lounges if she wanted to. No activities yesterday or today. Arrived this morning, carer sat at her desk whilst Mum was sat in the dining room on her own. Carer could have chatted to Mum through the doorway but she was sat on her mobile texting. The other residents on her floor apparently sleep until gone 9am and have breakfast in their rooms. Mum was up at 7.30 and I had told the staff that Mum was on early riser. Took Mum out for some of the day returning at 3pm. Told staff Mum was bored inside the home and did they have any little jobs that Mum could help with (I had been told this was possible when we visited ) but staff member said residents were not allowed to without close supervision and they were short staffed. I was also told that people with dementia sleep a lot!
I will bring Mum to my house tomorrow for Sunday lunch as I now feel I have to stop her getting bored - as she said to me ‘at least I can potter around at home’. I feel like I have worked so hard to say that in this place she would have things to do and people to chat to. I know Mum got bored in her own home (despite her telling me she had lots to do at her own house) but I expected more than this.
Very disappointed, very frustrated and will be seeing the Manager on Monday.
 

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