A baaaaaad day at my mother´s

manArgentina

Registered User
Aug 10, 2019
42
0
Mendoza, Argentina
Just arrived to her house and... pretty bad day so far.

Part is my fault, I told her i was going to go yesterday, I slept too much and didnt, a thing that have been happening to me lot of times, and its a double bad thing, I feel bad because I felt sleep, I want to go to her house, but its my problem, I ended up sleeping until late and I dont go, and then she gets offended and talks me in an agressive way.

I tried to call her yesterday to go, she hanged up.

Today I called her, she serious and sarcastic, I told me "Hi... want me to go there ?", and her regular reply is "I dont know, if you "want"... do whatever you want... dont come here if you dont want", she thinks I dont go there because I dont want, not because i have a problem that prevents me from going. So I have to deal with my sleeping problem and then with she being agressive.

Anyway I came here, the day is soooo Hot. The house of my mother is particularly hot, the kitchen its really hot. And she started ranting about "no sense" things. Some real problems, but the way she talk about them, screaming, coursing, and then talking no sense about it, its just annoying...

And theres no much spaces to walk around the house, its a big house but so full of things, with an useles gargae and an useless backyard because theres a dog. The house is dirty and messy. And hot !

Anyway, I think its going to be better in a couple of minutes but... she is going to be... "anxious" this day.
 

Mousehill

Registered User
Nov 28, 2018
69
0
I've just logged on to post about a bad day at my mum's too and saw your post. I can't give any real advice, as everyone's situation is different, but I can say, you're not alone. My mum's default reply to any offer of help on one of her bad days is "Do what you want....you always do!" despite the fact I put in over 40 hours a week caring for her, having given up work and DH and I are run ragged (you know you're going slightly mad when you give the commode a name - ours is Colin!) (Apologies to any Colins out there)

I'm off back to check on her shortly - thankfully I'm only a couple of miles down the road and my brother is doing her evening meal tonight before I drive back to put her to bed. Sometimes I really wish she'd decide to sell up and move into the really great, small and well-run nursing home in the same village as DH and I live, so we could see her every day and even take her out for little trips. However, she won't budge from the house she's lived in all her married life (we lost dad a few years ago) and brother and I have decided we'll keep on as we are and review the situation if she deteriorates to a point where she needs specialist round the clock care. It's so sad seeing a family home become a lonely prison (full of 'stuff' that has become, essentially, useless as you say)

Keep strong - it's an awful disease and emotionally exhausting to deal with.
 

manArgentina

Registered User
Aug 10, 2019
42
0
Mendoza, Argentina
I've just logged on to post about a bad day at my mum's too and saw your post. I can't give any real advice, as everyone's situation is different, but I can say, you're not alone. My mum's default reply to any offer of help on one of her bad days is "Do what you want....you always do!" despite the fact I put in over 40 hours a week caring for her, having given up work and DH and I are run ragged (you know you're going slightly mad when you give the commode a name - ours is Colin!) (Apologies to any Colins out there)

I'm off back to check on her shortly - thankfully I'm only a couple of miles down the road and my brother is doing her evening meal tonight before I drive back to put her to bed. Sometimes I really wish she'd decide to sell up and move into the really great, small and well-run nursing home in the same village as DH and I live, so we could see her every day and even take her out for little trips. However, she won't budge from the house she's lived in all her married life (we lost dad a few years ago) and brother and I have decided we'll keep on as we are and review the situation if she deteriorates to a point where she needs specialist round the clock care. It's so sad seeing a family home become a lonely prison (full of 'stuff' that has become, essentially, useless as you say)

Keep strong - it's an awful disease and emotionally exhausting to deal with.

Thanks for the feedback Mousehill.

The main problem with my mother is that she likes to talk in an agressive way, and complain about eeeeeeverything.

She likes to scream about the things she see in TV, like "there you have that fat guy of that program, always talking like a dumb, he things is smart and doesnt know anything" and start yelling "shut up, no ones want to hear you !! you are just awful", and the true is that the guy makes the program very good ! And she just talks bad about something she see in TV

And its a cooking show, so she say "thats no the way you have to do it, damn, none of them knows how to do things right !! all are stupid, like that girl that thinks she is smart because she married with a politician, she just know how to show her a*s"

And like this non stop.

And I like to make silly jokes, sometimes she likes my jokes, and sometimes she just get mad because "oh, how can you joke about that", and are just silly simple jokes, so sometimes i think "do i make a joke or not ?", and its awful because, damn, how "make a joke to enjoy the things a bit more can be something so terrible", but well, this is how things are in no sense land.

I asked about go for the fan and of course, she said No ! And its one of the days eeeeeverything gonna make her mad.

And its "tradition day", so she is going to be screaming about history things, like if are big things,and how all people is stupid.

I cant even sing a bit, because she is going to say "no , you are singing wrong, you have to sing like this... you dont know about...", every little thing out of my mouth, or any move i do, its going to annoy her.

She also tells me "do what you want, I dont need nothing of anyone, Im alone on this, and Im always going to be alone, so everything can do whatever, because i dont need anybody", and I reply "ok, call me if you need something". If she calls and I dont catch the calls she gets mad, and says "I dont call no more, im tired of call and no one attends".
 
Last edited:

DesperateofDevon

Registered User
Jul 7, 2019
3,274
0
Sometimes you just can’t help some people, my Mum had to have more than one crisis before things changed for the better.
Hold on in there! & breathe.... it will change.
 

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