I've just joined the forum ,so I thought that I would unload some stuff.
My parents had a very happy marriage on the whole and I was their only child.My Mum died just after Xmas last year from lung cancer in hospital.The 4 months leading up to her death were extremely painful for all of us.
Mum and Dad lived more than 300 miles away from me and although I tried to help as much as possible in caring for Mum,I constantly felt that I should be doing more.
During Mum's illness she started to express concern about Dad's mental state and although I could see what she meant,I tried to play it down because I thought that was kindest.
After Mum died aged only 76 ,it became obvious that she had probably been covering up for Dad for at least four years if not longer,although he was managing to look after himself reasonably well considering that he had never done any cooking,cleaning,washing etc before.Mum did all that,accompanied with a great deal of love and affection.
Dad visited us in London in March to celebrate his 80th birthday and it was fairly clear then that he was cognitively impaired,but he managed nonetheless.I spoke to him for at least an hour at least three times a week on the phone after that and then started to visit him for the day once a month.
He came down to visit in early September and stayed for a week with me and my partner in our privately rented 1 bedroomed flat.It went well and we had a great time including a meal out with my only daughter,her husband and their toddler.Dad went back up North by train.
About 5 days later he was admitted to hospital with 'acute delirium' after neighbours had called out medics and the police.
My partner and I dashed up there that evening and stayed for a week visiting Dad every day.Various tests were carried out in hospital including a 'normal' brain scan,but no firm diagnosis was given.Dad's scores on the mental tests were very low.
He ended up being in hospital for just over 3 weeks and I managed to persuade them to release him into my care.
It would have been impossible to carry on as we were with the long distance between our homes.Also at this point,and still now,Dad ccould not use words properly any more.He speaks in a language all of his own about 80 % of the time.
Sorry for going on,but where we stand right now is that he is registered with my doctor,has had a home visit from the EMI hospital doctor and a social worker,and is waiting for two sessions weekly for further assessment at the day ward.Some paperwork has gone missing and we haven't had any support yet.
I can hear Dad wandering about now and as our bathroom is on a shared landing,i had better shut up for now.
I wrote most of that last night,and now we are on to another day.I am very tired already what with dad trying to put his socks on over his slippers and getting in a muddle about what belongs to who.I think he is beginning to hoard familiar objects in his room;things which I have brought from his own house.Sorry,i am tired and i mistakenly posted in reply to another thread last night to begin with,although I think i have the hang of it now.
My parents had a very happy marriage on the whole and I was their only child.My Mum died just after Xmas last year from lung cancer in hospital.The 4 months leading up to her death were extremely painful for all of us.
Mum and Dad lived more than 300 miles away from me and although I tried to help as much as possible in caring for Mum,I constantly felt that I should be doing more.
During Mum's illness she started to express concern about Dad's mental state and although I could see what she meant,I tried to play it down because I thought that was kindest.
After Mum died aged only 76 ,it became obvious that she had probably been covering up for Dad for at least four years if not longer,although he was managing to look after himself reasonably well considering that he had never done any cooking,cleaning,washing etc before.Mum did all that,accompanied with a great deal of love and affection.
Dad visited us in London in March to celebrate his 80th birthday and it was fairly clear then that he was cognitively impaired,but he managed nonetheless.I spoke to him for at least an hour at least three times a week on the phone after that and then started to visit him for the day once a month.
He came down to visit in early September and stayed for a week with me and my partner in our privately rented 1 bedroomed flat.It went well and we had a great time including a meal out with my only daughter,her husband and their toddler.Dad went back up North by train.
About 5 days later he was admitted to hospital with 'acute delirium' after neighbours had called out medics and the police.
My partner and I dashed up there that evening and stayed for a week visiting Dad every day.Various tests were carried out in hospital including a 'normal' brain scan,but no firm diagnosis was given.Dad's scores on the mental tests were very low.
He ended up being in hospital for just over 3 weeks and I managed to persuade them to release him into my care.
It would have been impossible to carry on as we were with the long distance between our homes.Also at this point,and still now,Dad ccould not use words properly any more.He speaks in a language all of his own about 80 % of the time.
Sorry for going on,but where we stand right now is that he is registered with my doctor,has had a home visit from the EMI hospital doctor and a social worker,and is waiting for two sessions weekly for further assessment at the day ward.Some paperwork has gone missing and we haven't had any support yet.
I can hear Dad wandering about now and as our bathroom is on a shared landing,i had better shut up for now.
I wrote most of that last night,and now we are on to another day.I am very tired already what with dad trying to put his socks on over his slippers and getting in a muddle about what belongs to who.I think he is beginning to hoard familiar objects in his room;things which I have brought from his own house.Sorry,i am tired and i mistakenly posted in reply to another thread last night to begin with,although I think i have the hang of it now.
