New member...but....

Calli

New member
Oct 31, 2019
4
0
I feel so grateful that there are so many people shining my path forward! You are all a huge blessing.

just with a bit of skim reading and I feel the presence of the thousands of individual experiences providing confirmation to question or answer to suspicions around behaviour and so much encouragement and support.

thank you all.

my mom...who I have never gotten on with since she had me at 17 and rejected me swiftly by giving me away to another family member....was diagnosed with dementia this year. She lost her beloved daughter in 2014 from a stroke and I felt so sorry for her then excusing her behaviour because of the unexpected death. But in fact I see now she was in early stages of dementia that went undiagnosed even then. She kept it hidden for these years until early this year when she cut off communication. She retired to Crete decades ago. I started to visit her more after my sister’s death but it caused her so much anger and distress I stayed away. Phone calls were short and acrimonious. Barely a hello and i would get the constant yelling to go to confession, talk to a priest and confess my sins...slam goes the phone. At least i thought she was alive and well! Fast forward to July this year when she disconnected her phone and i landed up calling the police to find her ...eventually talking to her doctors to hear she has dementia...and now finding myself running ragged east west on numerous flights to figure out what next. This last visit I took her car keys after seeing the battered car which was in my name...which the cops had removed the number plates to stop her driving....so she switched off her mobile to retaliate.

She was so cunning and so unpleasant during this last visit, i started to think the diagnosis wrong but i see now after reading that its the personality trying to protect itself and keep itself intact as best it can. Of course she insists she is able to take care of herself and wont hear of going into a care home. She is borderline capable but I think its a matter of weeks now when she wont be.

The town police and nearly every official know of her. There were about to lock her up in a mental hospital when I arrived. I had such an argument with the police over this they arrested me ....but swiftly dropped charges. Yes....i can sue...but its a small town and i figure i need their help so better forget and forgive their stupidity.

They now know she isn't psychologically mad...just physiologically demented. Its an illness. And I insist on her human rights.

i already have identified after three weeks that I wont cope. Between the attitude of the small mindedn normals and my mothers needs...I am rolling multiple bounders uphill. I dont want to live there permanently. I wont survive. And I cannot take her away because everywhere else is three times the cost of care. I am investigating homes in area.

to be continued...!
 

Grahamstown

Registered User
Jan 12, 2018
1,746
0
84
East of England
i already have identified after three weeks that I wont cope. Between the attitude of the small mindedn normals and my mothers needs...I am rolling multiple bounders uphill. I dont want to live there permanently. I wont survive. And I cannot take her away because everywhere else is three times the cost of care. I am investigating homes in area.
How amazing you are, persevering in the face of all this and trying to do the best by your Mum. I wish you the very best in your efforts and applaud you for accepting your limitations but not giving up.
 

Calli

New member
Oct 31, 2019
4
0
How amazing you are, persevering in the face of all this and trying to do the best by your Mum. I wish you the very best in your efforts and applaud you for accepting your limitations but not giving up.

I dont know if I am amazing...but I am definitely amazed! I am bug eyed in disbelief at what I am facing. This is why reading threads in this forum have reassured me it is all true. This is how things are. Her behaviour is within the bounds of their normality and understanding is dawning.

Unfortunately understanding and patience for the normals of the town is lacking.

All but for her neighbours who she has opened harassment and theft charges and god alone knows what else and whom else....and how many legal cases this year...funded by the local legal clinic because they saw she had property which made her good for the money they advanced to run riot in the courts. For her neighbours....now I think they are amazing! They need medals for putting up with her accusations.

i am going to get to the bottom of how they could see something was wrong....but they funded her deluded legal suits all the same.

Not that the mother can understand why I dont support her fight for justice.....and why I dont believe her....and why I took the car and now she cant go to the court which is in another town to find out what is happening with her cases.

Dreadful horrible daughter who killed her sister because she was jealous and didn't pay her attention and take her to hospital etc etc etc....
 

lis66

Registered User
Aug 7, 2015
277
0
Calli sending ((((hugs)))) to you we are all on this emotional journey together and it's hard very very hard take care xxx
 

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