Selling home - when is the right time?

[Lyd]

As the people with POA for my MIL we try and think what would "old" competent MIL have wanted for herself now. Often that helps us either be sure what we are doing is right or at thimes to tweek things a bit. We have done lots without asking, the most difficult selling her car without telling her and that question helped.
Competent MIL wouldnt have wanted to risk she might drive the car if she could have caused an accident. MIL with dementia thought it was totally unreasonable because "I've been driving for longer than youve been alive".
If someone has chosen you to be POA then they have said they trust you to choose for them when they cant choose for themselves. That is and honour and huge responsibility but different to going behind their back.

 

[jugglingmum]

@Lyd - that sums it up very well

 

[Champers]

Started the ball rolling on selling MIL’s house but now also have my mother’s house to deal with too. Both have accumulated a lot of stuff over the years, so we’ve decided to put my mother’s house on hold for the time being and concentrate on only one at a time. What do you do with the furniture/clothes etc? Is it just a question of bagging up as much as you can for a charity shop or did anyone pay a house clearance firm?

All going well to start with until MIL raised the “subject” again. My lovely husband who always thinks honesty is the best policy - not as devious as me - told her what we were doing. She now has said that she wants it kept so she “has somewhere I know I can return to” Fingers crossed that next time we visit, she doesn’t recall the conversation and that OH is within kicking distance if she asks again!

 

[Sarasa]

@Champers, my husband is the same where honesty is concerned. He was all for telling my mother my brother is seriously ill for instance. Fortunately he doesn't visit her that often.
What we did with mum's flat was get charities who would take furniture to take a lot of the big stuff, though they annoyingly wouldn't take things with a small amount of damage or that weren't dismantled. The rest of the furniture and things like small electrical goods went on freecycle. We gave people a time we'd be there. It almost turned into a party with various people dismantling things. Clothes, crockery etc went to local charity shops. We didn't have a car most of the time, so I was doing lots of trips with stuff in a backpack. The rest has either gone to the care home or is in our loft.
Mum only had a small flat and has never been a hoarder, even so it was a big job and several times we wished we'd got a company in. I wanted to make sure that nothing important got thrown away, and that we'd checked in case money had been hidden. I never found any money, though mum was taking £50.00 out nearly everyday for the last few weeks she was at home, goodness knows what she did with it. However if your MiL's place is big and there is a lot of stuff it might be worth considering getting a company in. It also depends how easy it is for you to get there and if there is a time scale. Mum's place was two trains and a bus away from where I live and we had a buyer wanting to complete.

 

[Susan11]

I decided to sell Mum's bungalow thus summer as she's in a care home now. I live 200 miles away and even though the neighbour called in occasionally I couldn't face the worry of burst pipes over the winter. I worried about this all last winter as if a pipe burst we could have had water pouring into the house for nearly 2 weeks causing dreadful damage. And no I haven't told my Mum. If she asks if I'm staying there when I visit i have to say yes, Also there's the continuing costs of maintaining the house which was just lost income for my Mum.

 

[cobden 28]

Started the ball rolling on selling MIL’s house but now also have my mother’s house to deal with too. Both have accumulated a lot of stuff over the years, so we’ve decided to put my mother’s house on hold for the time being and concentrate on only one at a time. What do you do with the furniture/clothes etc? Is it just a question of bagging up as much as you can for a charity shop or did anyone pay a house clearance firm?

All going well to start with until MIL raised the “subject” again. My lovely husband who always thinks honesty is the best policy - not as devious as me - told her what we were doing. She now has said that she wants it kept so she “has somewhere I know I can return to” Fingers crossed that next time we visit, she doesn’t recall the conversation and that OH is within kicking distance if she asks again!

When my late stepdad died in his residential home, Mum gave his clothes to charity shops as none of it would have fitted other men in the family and the styles were old-fashioned although of very good quality. The furniture she kept because she still lives in their bungalow. It was too much to take all at once to the charity shops so every time she went into town to do her grocery shopping she took a carrier bag of stepdad's clothes with her to the charity shop.