Hi. Me again. Hope you don't mind me raising another question on my sister's behalf.
For 8 years she has been sole carer for her husband, who has Alzheimer's, and is now at breaking point. He receives full attendance allowance. No nursing needs at the moment, but needs care 24/7. My sister now has POAs for both finance & health & welfare. Recent SS assessments have confirmed that her husband is eligible for help with his care (in good hosting mode, he expressed a preference for carers to "pop in" rather than residential care should anything happen to my sister), and that he is currently self-funding. SS are therefore closing their file on him and my sister for the time being. (She has had a carer's assessment too.)
My sister is sure she will not be able to cope for much longer and anticipates that her husband will need to go into residential care soon - possibly early next year. We are therefore at the point of trying to identify suitable, affordable home(s). As my BIL wouldn't be self-funding for longer than a couple of months or so, and my sister won't be able to afford top-ups, it looks as though a council run home will be the only option from the start.
But what would happen if my sister decides she can no longer cope, identifies a suitable CH (without involving the SS because of self-funding) but he refuses to go there and the CH deems he has mental capacity? (I doubt he would really have capacity, but depending on the skill of the social worker who would apparently carry out the test, he might be able to pull the wool over their eyes.)
My sister feels she may have to start trying to prepare him, explaining how ill she is getting and that she won't be able to continue looking after him. He will keep forgetting, of course, but she hopes that something might stick, over time. She knows him better than I do, of course, but my worry is this could backfire. Each time the subject is raised it's likely to cause him distress, which might result in kind of training him to automatically say No when the time actually comes. Any thoughts?
For 8 years she has been sole carer for her husband, who has Alzheimer's, and is now at breaking point. He receives full attendance allowance. No nursing needs at the moment, but needs care 24/7. My sister now has POAs for both finance & health & welfare. Recent SS assessments have confirmed that her husband is eligible for help with his care (in good hosting mode, he expressed a preference for carers to "pop in" rather than residential care should anything happen to my sister), and that he is currently self-funding. SS are therefore closing their file on him and my sister for the time being. (She has had a carer's assessment too.)
My sister is sure she will not be able to cope for much longer and anticipates that her husband will need to go into residential care soon - possibly early next year. We are therefore at the point of trying to identify suitable, affordable home(s). As my BIL wouldn't be self-funding for longer than a couple of months or so, and my sister won't be able to afford top-ups, it looks as though a council run home will be the only option from the start.
But what would happen if my sister decides she can no longer cope, identifies a suitable CH (without involving the SS because of self-funding) but he refuses to go there and the CH deems he has mental capacity? (I doubt he would really have capacity, but depending on the skill of the social worker who would apparently carry out the test, he might be able to pull the wool over their eyes.)
My sister feels she may have to start trying to prepare him, explaining how ill she is getting and that she won't be able to continue looking after him. He will keep forgetting, of course, but she hopes that something might stick, over time. She knows him better than I do, of course, but my worry is this could backfire. Each time the subject is raised it's likely to cause him distress, which might result in kind of training him to automatically say No when the time actually comes. Any thoughts?
