Hi im new to all this and struggling. Our mum was taken into intensive care three weeks ago. Shes very ill and has been caring for our 89 year old dad with stage 4 lung cancer and dementia. She would not let any help in the home no matter how hard we tried. We see how much she had been struggling in the home and with our lovely dad. We do not live near have a many health issues but are trying to care for him at their home but desperate for help. We are waiting for help but so far no call. How long does it take for the process with dementia care to actually get started. We have not seen a soul we are desperate and i suffer from anxiety and depression. Dad is distraught mums not hear. We take him up and down to the hospital to see her its miles away and hes on oxygen and we desperately need to attend our own appointments.
New to dementia and struggling.
- Thread starter Lilysplanet
- Start date
hello @Lilysplanet
a warm welcome to DTP
sorry your mum is so ill
it's often the way that family only realise how tricky things are for their parents when one is admitted to hospital and family members have to step in ... parents can be good at making it seem that they are coping
I'm guessing that you have contacted your parents' Local Authority Adult Services ... if they haven't taken on board exactly what your dad's situation is, it may take quite some time for them to contact you ... sadly you need to make it clear that this is an emergency, that his main carer is in hospital, there are no home care visits and family are unable to provide care any longer as you do not live with him
tell them he is a 'vulnerable adult' who if left will be 'at risk of harm' due to 'self neglect' and stress his ill health
also contact his GP to keep them fully in the picture and ask them to make an urgent referral to Adult Services
to be honest, it does sound as though respite care would be a good choice, so your dad is looked after 24 hours a day ... he may not want this, but even with 4 home care visits a day (that's the maximum) he will be on his own most of the day and at night ... his needs right now outweigh his wants
if your dad can afford it, you can, of course put home care in place yourselves or find a local dementia nursing home
the directory of local services may be of help
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/find-support-near-you
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/legal-financial/who-pays-care
a warm welcome to DTP
sorry your mum is so ill
it's often the way that family only realise how tricky things are for their parents when one is admitted to hospital and family members have to step in ... parents can be good at making it seem that they are coping
I'm guessing that you have contacted your parents' Local Authority Adult Services ... if they haven't taken on board exactly what your dad's situation is, it may take quite some time for them to contact you ... sadly you need to make it clear that this is an emergency, that his main carer is in hospital, there are no home care visits and family are unable to provide care any longer as you do not live with him
tell them he is a 'vulnerable adult' who if left will be 'at risk of harm' due to 'self neglect' and stress his ill health
also contact his GP to keep them fully in the picture and ask them to make an urgent referral to Adult Services
to be honest, it does sound as though respite care would be a good choice, so your dad is looked after 24 hours a day ... he may not want this, but even with 4 home care visits a day (that's the maximum) he will be on his own most of the day and at night ... his needs right now outweigh his wants
if your dad can afford it, you can, of course put home care in place yourselves or find a local dementia nursing home
the directory of local services may be of help
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/find-support-near-you
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/legal-financial/who-pays-care
Hello,
I see you have already received good advice.
In addition your local Carers Centre may be able to help, as they will have expert advice on what is available in the local area as well. Here is a link to find your nearest carers centre: https://carers.org/section/help-advice.
Hope this helps,
Paco
I see you have already received good advice.
In addition your local Carers Centre may be able to help, as they will have expert advice on what is available in the local area as well. Here is a link to find your nearest carers centre: https://carers.org/section/help-advice.
Hope this helps,
Paco
Sometimes you have to make a nuisance of yourself with Social Services to make them realise that it really is urgent, so be prepared to keep chasing them up.
