My Mum has Alzheimer's. She has been in a care home in Devon for 3 years. I am an only child and live 200 miles away. The past 2 years I have had Mum to stay with me over Christmas. Her mobility has decreased in the past year and she is not well enough or mobile enough to come this year. In her mind all is well and "there is nothing wrong with me". She cannot understand why she can't come for Christmas. She gets verbally aggresive, which upsets me more as in a few minutes if the subject is changed she has forgotten about it! Please could I ask for advice on how to deal with this and what to say to Mum. I visit roughly every 2 months for 4 days at a time. For our trips out she has to be in a wheelchair now and can't be out for more than a couple of hours as she gets very tired or dizzy when she stands to go to the toilet. I don't want to move her nearer me as I feel while she knows where she is, 'in her beloved Devon', the move would be too disorientating for her. She still has a few friends that visit her and enjoys the church services at the home run by familiar people.
Christmas
- Thread starter Sassad65
- Start date
I’m in a similar boat with my dad but he is at his own home.
I’m not visiting him at Xmas(no car) but I will be going on Xmas Eve.He has carers in 4X a day.
Could you not go before Xmas and explain why not?Maybe do a Xmas dinner with her at the home??
That’s ok.Its never easy to decide what to do for the best.We can only do what we can do.
I think you just have to go with the flow - as you say, no matter what you tell her, or what you do earlier in the month, she will forget within moments. So do whatever is easiest, which is probably quickly agreeing and then changing the subject. But unless she brings up the subject, just don't mention it at all. She won't remember what has been said.
I visited my mother's CH on Christmas Eve last year but was surprised to find my mother had no idea it was Christmas, it didn't really mean anything to her - for her it was just another day, despite the carols being played and the xmas decorations.
I visited my mother's CH on Christmas Eve last year but was surprised to find my mother had no idea it was Christmas, it didn't really mean anything to her - for her it was just another day, despite the carols being played and the xmas decorations.
I am not looking forward to Christmas as it will be the first time in 48 years of marriage that I am not with my lovely wife.
Having recently moved her into a nursing home, I will of course visit her in the morning, along with our two sons. The home does try to make it a bit special, I am told, but given that all the residents are either bed-bound, or have very limited mobility, I understand that it is to some extent, "business as usual".
Thankfully my wife will be blissfully unaware of these changes, remaining in her own happy world, so it will hit us, rather than her. So it's just a matter of getting through this, both of our birthdays (just before and just after Christmas) and NYE, then roll on Summer!
Having recently moved her into a nursing home, I will of course visit her in the morning, along with our two sons. The home does try to make it a bit special, I am told, but given that all the residents are either bed-bound, or have very limited mobility, I understand that it is to some extent, "business as usual".Thankfully my wife will be blissfully unaware of these changes, remaining in her own happy world, so it will hit us, rather than her. So it's just a matter of getting through this, both of our birthdays (just before and just after Christmas) and NYE, then roll on Summer!
