Concerns about Mums hygene

[haygreen]

My Mum has recently stopped changing into her night wear at night. She goes to bed in her day clothes. I have tried to convince her to change her blouse and wash her hair. However she is not doing this and wears the same blouse for several days in a row. I am not sure she is washing properly and the carer seems to
have no influence on her.I am now considering getting in nurses. Have any kind souls out there had my experience. Any suggestions how I might resolve the situation. Thank you
haygreen

 

[Rosettastone57]

My Mum has recently stopped changing into her night wear at night. She goes to bed in her day clothes. I have tried to convince her to change her blouse and wash her hair. However she is not doing this and wears the same blouse for several days in a row. I am not sure she is washing properly and the carer seems to
have no influence on her.I am now considering getting in nurses. Have any kind souls out there had my experience. Any suggestions how I might resolve the situation. Thank you
haygreen

This is very common. No magic answers I'm afraid. My mother-in-law had carers in three times a day for 4 years and she always refused personal care. She could wash herself of sorts, but her hair was not washed throughout the 4 years . She didn't change her clothes either very often . This only got resolved by her going into care, not that I'm suggesting this is the answer for your situation. I'm not sure getting in nurses is going to make any difference

 

[Jale]

Mum was never happy having carers in - she would very often refuse to get undressed at night, and refused washing in the morning, she always told the carers she had already had a wash even though she obviously hadn't. I could sometimes get her to let me wash her and change her clothes but that was defeating the object of having carers go in and I couldn't physically keep doing it due to my own health problems.

Mum is now in a nursing home and still refuses to get undressed at night, but she does let the carers there wash and change her. It is not easy trying to get someone with dementia to co-operate as you very often cannot reason with them. I'm not certain what you mean about getting nurses in, I assume (I may be wrong) that you perhaps you mean district nurses in which case I don't think they would be able to offer the care of washing/dressing etc

 

[haygreen]

Perry Rosetta 8

Mum was never happy having carers in - she would very often refuse to get undressed at night, and refused washing in the morning, she always told the carers she had already had a wash even though she obviously hadn't. I could sometimes get her to let me wash her and change her clothes but that was defeating the object of having carers go in and I couldn't physically keep doing it due to my own health problems.

Mum is now in a nursing home and still refuses to get undressed at night, but she does let the carers there wash and change her. It is not easy trying to get someone with dementia to co-operate as you very often cannot reason with them. I'm not certain what you mean about getting nurses in, I assume (I may be wrong) that you perhaps you mean district nurses in which case I don't think they would be able to offer the care of washing/dressing etc

Mum was never happy having carers in - she would very often refuse to get undressed at night, and refused washing in the morning, she always told the carers she had already had a wash even though she obviously hadn't. I could sometimes get her to let me wash her and change her clothes but that was defeating the object of having carers go in and I couldn't physically keep doing it due to my own health problems.

Mum is now in a nursing home and still refuses to get undressed at night, but she does let the carers there wash and change her. It is not easy trying to get someone with dementia to co-operate as you very often cannot reason with them. I'm not certain what you mean about getting nurses in, I assume (I may be wrong) that you perhaps you mean district nurses in which case I don't think they would be able to offer the care of washing/dressing etc

Rosetta thank you for your informative reply.It is very sad when we have so much sorrow seeing our loved ones health decline and is helpful to know we can share our frustrations with others who have sadly have had similar experiences.

 

[haygreen]

Rosetta. Thank you for taking time out to reply to my enquiry.It is useful to be able to share thoughts on caring with other carers and I do hope the care home your Mum is in is a pleasant one.

Haygreen

 

[haygreen]

Mum was never happy having carers in - she would very often refuse to get undressed at night, and refused washing in the morning, she always told the carers she had already had a wash even though she obviously hadn't. I could sometimes get her to let me wash her and change her clothes but that was defeating the object of having carers go in and I couldn't physically keep doing it due to my own health problems.

Mum is now in a nursing home and still refuses to get undressed at night, but she does let the carers there wash and change her. It is not easy trying to get someone with dementia to co-operate as you very often cannot reason with them. I'm not certain what you mean about getting nurses in, I assume (I may be wrong) that you perhaps you mean district nurses in which case I don't think they would be able to offer the care of washing/dressing etc

Male thank

 

[haygreen]

Male thank you so much for taking time to reply to my enquiry. It was useful hearing your thoughts and hearing about your experiences and like myself you must have felt powerless at times as your loved ones health declined. I am now considering getting in paid nurses trained in dementia to care for Mum and wonder whether you or anyone else has had experiences of seeing them try to assist dementia patients. I thank you for your time

Haygreen

 

[Sirena]

Washing and dressing is counted as 'personal care' and you don't need a nurse for personal care. What you need is a dementia-trained carer, who understands the types of tactics needed. They will also need the time to accomplish this, so longer visits may be helpful so they can go at your mother's pace. And the most helpful thing would be to find one or two carers your mother likes and is willing to cooperate with. A stream of different carers she doesn't know (or like) is unlikely to achieve much.

 

[haygreen]

Sirena thank you for your reply whichI found useful.I have arranged for a dementia trained carer to visit Mum to assist with washing and getting dressed.
Haygreen

 

[Sirena]

Fingers crossed this helps to resolve the issue - and your mum likes her! Let us know how the carer gets on.

 

[haygreen]

Sirena I did get a carer in to try and wash but but Mum resisted so much that the care was discontinued.
Haygreen

 

[Sirena]

I think washing may be something you have to give up on for the time being, I know others have said their person with dementia just would not co-operate with washing at home, although some have changed their attitude once they moved to a care home. The problem with getting a carer in to the house is that they have limited time, whereas in a care home the carer will keep coming back to try again. A couple of weeks ago I visited my mother in the CH just before lunch, to find that after several hours she had just decided to change out of her pyjamas and let the carer give her a wash - at home a carer would have been long gone by that time.

You've done your best you can for the time being.

 

[Twopoodles]

Not sure whether you still have the problem but I found with mum that she had forgotten how to shower. We had carers in who asked her if she wanted a shower and she always said no. When I moved in she hadn’t had a shower for 2 weeks and it turned out to be mainly because she couldn’t do it. She didn’t know what clothes to put on, so before even starting I get all her clothes ready and warm up the water, then have to pass her washing things in one by one finishing with shower gel on the sponge. I grab her clothes quickly and get them in the wash. Unless I stay in the bedroom with her she won’t change into pyjamas and makes me feel like a right cow for insisting she takes off her day clothes. She still has undies on but don’t want to push it. The carers we have used so far have just not been able to do it partly I think because mum “presents herself “ so well for that 90 mins they think she is capable of more than she is. Sometimes also just being cold is an issue so I warm the towel and have the dressing gown ready

 

[haygreen]

Not sure whether you still have the problem but I found with mum that she had forgotten how to shower. We had carers in who asked her if she wanted a shower and she always said no. When I moved in she hadn’t had a shower for 2 weeks and it turned out to be mainly because she couldn’t do it. She didn’t know what clothes to put on, so before even starting I get all her clothes ready and warm up the water, then have to pass her washing things in one by one finishing with shower gel on the sponge. I grab her clothes quickly and get them in the wash. Unless I stay in the bedroom with her she won’t change into pyjamas and makes me feel like a right cow for insisting she takes off her day clothes. She still has undies on but don’t want to push it. The carers we have used so far have just not been able to do it partly I think because mum “presents herself “ so well for that 90 mins they think she is capable of more than she is. Sometimes also just being cold is an issue so I warm the towel and have the dressing gown ready

 

[haygreen]

Twopoodles thank you for your informative reply to my dilemma with Mum. I am so grateful that there are others out there who have experiences they can share about caring for relatives. I apologise for taking so long in replying to your comment and wish you all the best.
Haygreen