Hi,
sorry this is a bit long but I'm struggling with the dilemma of where my mum should be. She lives 3 hours away and is currently in respite in a care home after having a very bad fall in Feb. she was living at home fairly independently before that, mobility was ok but now she's using a frame and it 'aint gonna get any better they say ><. The combination of this and the alzheimer's progression means she needs more care. Home and 24 hour care has now been ruled out.
Where she is, she's bored and there's been a few issues at the home and social worker raising a safeguarding etc so I need to move her somewhere permanently. I've been considering bringing her down here to London as it would be easier in the long term from my point of view, less stress etc but the cost is phenomenally more than where she is now.
Aside from the obvious financial issues,I want to be sure I'm doing the right thing and if I should be moving her away from where she's lived for 50 odd years??? It doesn't seem like any of her friends visit now but I'm worried in case it could it make her worse moving her to an unfamiliar area or if she'd hate it cos the people aren't the same or something, its just so hard ??? also, weighing up the benefits of being nearer me, with the distress of the actual journey in a vehicle for 2-3 hours as well.. I know the illness will progress and in the end it wont matter where she is but its about wanting more of a quality of life for her for as long as poss and where she is now that just isn't possible. Ultimately I know a move of any kind will be a disruption but its so difficult to weigh it all up. I have to move her anyway and I've visited 2 places up there and 3 down here. If I leave her there I can't just pop in at a moment's notice but if I move her and its a mistake ... - what then???. Unfortunately there's just "lil ol me" sorting this out, no other family or other half to lean on. On top of all that am trying to get to find all her finances and get a certified copy of her POA for the money management company and we don't yet have a solicitor.
my head is so full, I'd really appreciate any thoughts, I know its up to me in the end and only me but at the mo, I feel the pressure of needing to do something yet overwhelmed with all the options.
thanks to this site and the help it provides. I really appreciate just having a place to put my thoguhts down even. There - even that has been cathartic.
sorry this is a bit long but I'm struggling with the dilemma of where my mum should be. She lives 3 hours away and is currently in respite in a care home after having a very bad fall in Feb. she was living at home fairly independently before that, mobility was ok but now she's using a frame and it 'aint gonna get any better they say ><. The combination of this and the alzheimer's progression means she needs more care. Home and 24 hour care has now been ruled out.
Where she is, she's bored and there's been a few issues at the home and social worker raising a safeguarding etc so I need to move her somewhere permanently. I've been considering bringing her down here to London as it would be easier in the long term from my point of view, less stress etc but the cost is phenomenally more than where she is now.
Aside from the obvious financial issues,I want to be sure I'm doing the right thing and if I should be moving her away from where she's lived for 50 odd years??? It doesn't seem like any of her friends visit now but I'm worried in case it could it make her worse moving her to an unfamiliar area or if she'd hate it cos the people aren't the same or something, its just so hard ??? also, weighing up the benefits of being nearer me, with the distress of the actual journey in a vehicle for 2-3 hours as well.. I know the illness will progress and in the end it wont matter where she is but its about wanting more of a quality of life for her for as long as poss and where she is now that just isn't possible. Ultimately I know a move of any kind will be a disruption but its so difficult to weigh it all up. I have to move her anyway and I've visited 2 places up there and 3 down here. If I leave her there I can't just pop in at a moment's notice but if I move her and its a mistake ... - what then???. Unfortunately there's just "lil ol me" sorting this out, no other family or other half to lean on. On top of all that am trying to get to find all her finances and get a certified copy of her POA for the money management company and we don't yet have a solicitor.
my head is so full, I'd really appreciate any thoughts, I know its up to me in the end and only me but at the mo, I feel the pressure of needing to do something yet overwhelmed with all the options.
thanks to this site and the help it provides. I really appreciate just having a place to put my thoguhts down even. There - even that has been cathartic.