Not eating

Lookingafter

Registered User
Aug 21, 2019
27
0
FIL has been in care home now 4 weeks. He is now refusing all food given and hot drinks. He will only drink fizzy lemonade. Says he wants something sharp! Although he’s ate icecream and chocolate buttons whilst I was there today.

He was throwing his breakfast away previouslyat home and not eating supper so I presume this is just an extension of this. He’s lost loads of weight and is pretty much uninterested now.

He’s had blood test done and all ok so no infection. I’ve asked this question once before, and I can’t seem to get it out my head. Why is he not eating?

I’m 99pc sure it’s not pain, I’ve asked the home to get the doctor in now I’m really worried. I’ve asked them to check for mouth sores, constipation, depression etc - all the usual stuff.

He doesn’t want to do ANYTHING. As a first, I’ve washed and dressed him today. It’s like he’s given up!

The managed move in CH was supposed to have assisted in better quality of life and safety and socialisation. None of these have happened and I’m sure the decline would have happened at home but I can’t help feeling like I’ve done the wrong thing and this is all my fault.

Can anyone relate or advise?
 

karaokePete

Registered User
Jul 23, 2017
6,534
0
N Ireland
Hello @Lookingafter.

Your description of eating sweet foods and seeking something sharp is a classic dementia loss of the sense of taste. Sweet and sour are the last things to go in relation to that sense and it produces the classic dementia sweet tooth. Other foods, even old favourites may not taste good to the person

Maybe you could work with the CH on that as I'd be surprised if they haven't encountered it before.

The loss of interest may be depression as that's a common bedfellow of dementia. A GP may be able to assist there.
 

karaokePete

Registered User
Jul 23, 2017
6,534
0
N Ireland
The Society publications list contains Factsheets that may be able to assist you.

Two Factsheets that relate to your questions can be read if you click the second lines of the links below:-
Apathy, depression and anxiety (444)
PDF printable version

Eating and drinking (511)
PDF printable version

The full list of publications can be found if you click the next link
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/publications-factsheets-full-list

I hope you get things resolves so that you can both become more settled.
 

Lookingafter

Registered User
Aug 21, 2019
27
0
Thank you! I did read this entire website back in August and just forget to keep coming back here when someone new arises.

That makes complete sense. You know thinking about it, he lost his younger brother back in June and I’m sure it’s this. I’ll speak to the home about depression. x
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
25,018
0
South coast
It is early days. I know it wont feel like that to you, but to hiom it will take a couple of months to settle down. It is also not a magic bullet, so behaviours that were happening at home will continue to occur in the care home and sometimes the move will throw a cruel spotlight onto them.

Have you spoken to the manager about his eating and asked them what strategies they are using to encourage him to eat? Are they trying different textures/flavours? Often the sense of taste is lost so that highly spiced, sweet or very savoury things taste better to them. Ice cream and chocolate buttons are often favourites. At this stage it is more important to get any sort of food into him rather than worrying about a "balanced" meal, so the care home might provide him with lots of snacks. You can also get meal supplement in the form of drink that the GP has to request, but might help give him more energy.
 

Sirena

Registered User
Feb 27, 2018
2,324
0
I agree I would ask the care home what strategies they can use to get him to eat a bit more. My mother lost a lot of weight in the early stages and never regained it, she is now getting towards later stages and is quite underweight but she is happy to eat sweet things like cake and chocolate. She also loves smoothies, because they are sweet. At one stage the CH had her on Ensure type drinks, which she liked.

As well as the taste issue, I also wonder if he has lost the ability to use a knife and fork, which means he only wants to eat finger food (or the the case of the ice cream, use a spoon).
 

Lookingafter

Registered User
Aug 21, 2019
27
0
Thank you for your replies. The home are trying finger foods but that’s not working either. Carers / FIL and myself had a discussion about his food likes but he just held his head (almost as if the conversation was to much for him).

They bought out a Sunday pork dinner - he held it and had a fork full of mash and said he’d had enough. He ate half the bowl of strawberry icecream however with a spoon.

I’ve bought today some of the unhealthiest junk you can find... Doughnuts, battenburg cake, mint matchmakers, wethers soft toffee, winders, malt loaf and marmalade.

We’ll try ploughing through this.

I walked him to the toilet yesterday, first time holding his hand I recall, so fragile. Makes me
so sad.
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
81,445
0
Kent
Try a tomato sandwich with salt @Lookingafter. I know it`s unlikely your father in law will take it but it will be something both sweet and fresh for his mouth and there`s nothing to lose by trying.
 

Sirena

Registered User
Feb 27, 2018
2,324
0
Little desserts like individual supermarket chocolate mousses are often popular too, if you want to try another (non healthy!) option.

My mother also likes chips (doubtless with plenty of salt).
 

Lookingafter

Registered User
Aug 21, 2019
27
0
OMG! I am so confused! He’s still not eating (couple of chocolate buttons here and there). He’s completely wasted away. I’ve been advised to ring his GP tomorrow for a DNAR!! His blood pressure is low and he lies in bed all day. Not even the TV on now.

The home says he has full capacity which I am absolutely astounded by. I suspect there’s more to this than just dementia. Another load of bloods have been done and some medication has been stopped.

Just waiting for these meal supplement drinks to come.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
25,018
0
South coast
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) @Lookingafter

Have you had a chance to talk to the doctor about what is going on? I really do think that you aught to.
 

Lookingafter

Registered User
Aug 21, 2019
27
0
Well - after my short time here at DTP and not giving anything back, sorry. Doctor has been today, and there’s a strong possibility FIL has cancer. Too frail for investigations and FIL has refused more blood work. I’m completely lost. How do I tell his wife in the same room?
 

Lookingafter

Registered User
Aug 21, 2019
27
0
Well FIL passed away today. So much for trying to do the right thing. Thanks again for all your help. Stay strong everyone for looking after your loved ones!! x