I know what I'm doing

[Donkeyshere]

So the MIL came over from the annex today with a torch at 7 am, I said " mum the outside light comes on its automatic" - Mum " I know but it was dark". Anyway off she goes with meds we gave given her, torch switched off. I pop over "Mum put your light on it's dark you might trip over the rug" - mum - "I've not tripped before" - me "no but it's not been this dark for a while you might trip" - MIL " I do know what I'm doing you know" !!! And breathe!

 

[Batsue]

If I had a pound for every time my mum says "I know what I'm doing" I would be rich. Unfortunately she has absolutely no insight into her condition and is convinced that I am nuts.

 

[Grannie G]

And breathe!

.........and keep breathing.

 

[Champers]

My mother regularly says, “I’ve been thinking about getting myself a job. I’m still quite capable of working.”

Ok mum. You’re 87. i have to arrange your shopping to be delivered. Someone to go in daily to prompt you to take your tablets. I drive 2 hours to ensure you get to hospital appointments. I’ve taken control of all your finances and pay all your bills directly because you have no concept of money anymore. You haven’t left your house, unless someone else arranges it for you, for nearly 2 years and without a giant digital calendar clock, you wouldn’t know what the day or time was.

So, what sort of employment were you thinking of applying for then, mother?

 

[marionq]

My mother regularly says, “I’ve been thinking about getting myself a job. I’m still quite capable of working.”

Ok mum. You’re 87. i have to arrange your shopping to be delivered. Someone to go in daily to prompt you to take your tablets. I drive 2 hours to ensure you get to hospital appointments. I’ve taken control of all your finances and pay all your bills directly because you have no concept of money anymore. You haven’t left your house, unless someone else arranges it for you, for nearly 2 years and without a giant digital calendar clock, you wouldn’t know what the day or time was.

So, what sort of employment were you thinking of applying for then, mother?

I must say I like her attitude! We all have a really strong work ethic in our family and I want to cheer on all those people who get up and go.

At 87 she is in the same category as my 86 year old husband who in the early days of his dementia would sort out some tools, take a sandwich or some fruit and try to head out for work in the middle of the night. Sometimes several times in the same night. I didn’t know it then but those were his good times.

Give her a hug from me. I like her style.

 

[Fishgirl]

My OH often thinks we have to go to work in the early hours, I say we because he thinks I worked with him, he used to travel around the country and he asks me if I remember such &such a job, I say oh yes, that was a bad one wasn’t it, shame that if one of his real work mates call, he hasn’t a clue who they are!

 

[SewHappy]

Mum, her lead care home worker and I went to doctors to discuss DNAR as part of mum's care plan. When doctor asked mum what she had been doing that afternoon mum said she had been doing paperwork in the office and then the care worker had interrupted her to bring her out to this meeting. Mum had actually been doing an activity. More than once mum repeated the story about working so I said if mum is working at the care home we need a reduction of fees - she was pretty good with paperwork and admin. Fortunately mum managed a few more lucid moments so we're feeling comfortable with DNAR decisions.

 

[Fullticket]

Mum still had a manual typewriter so I used to handwrite letters for her to type up. She was really fast and accurate, though finding a typewriter rubber was a bit of an issue (she had forgotten about Tippex) and of course carbon paper is no longer available so I had to photocopy the letter to have something to file away in a cabinet. It all went into a basket for me to sign with typed envelopes. I had to make sure that there was an address for the letters to go to so used a couple of friends' - just in case she pp'd the signature, found a stamp and sent it!

 

[Rosettastone57]

My mother regularly says, “I’ve been thinking about getting myself a job. I’m still quite capable of working.”

Ok mum. You’re 87. i have to arrange your shopping to be delivered. Someone to go in daily to prompt you to take your tablets. I drive 2 hours to ensure you get to hospital appointments. I’ve taken control of all your finances and pay all your bills directly because you have no concept of money anymore. You haven’t left your house, unless someone else arranges it for you, for nearly 2 years and without a giant digital calendar clock, you wouldn’t know what the day or time was.

So, what sort of employment were you thinking of applying for then, mother?

I laughed at this post. It reminded me of my mother-in-law who used to work in a charity shop ,albeit 20 years ago. She was 93 when she passed away and she was still moaning about the other women who used to work there right up til the end ,asking me to organize her to go back to work at the shop

 

[Sarasa]

My mother was talking about getting a job the other day too, but agreed with me that she might find it difficult now. I think it was all part of the I don't want to be in this care home I want to be living an independent life scenario.

 

[Donkeyshere]

Does anyone else get the indignant "look" when the PWD says they know what they are doing - I agree ReedySue its obviously us carers that are getting wrong!

 

[Donkeyshere]

Does anyone else get the indignant "look" when the PWD says they know what they are doing - I agree ReedySue its obviously us carers that are getting it wrong!

 

[DesperateofDevon]

My mother regularly says, “I’ve been thinking about getting myself a job. I’m still quite capable of working.”

Ok mum. You’re 87. i have to arrange your shopping to be delivered. Someone to go in daily to prompt you to take your tablets. I drive 2 hours to ensure you get to hospital appointments. I’ve taken control of all your finances and pay all your bills directly because you have no concept of money anymore. You haven’t left your house, unless someone else arranges it for you, for nearly 2 years and without a giant digital calendar clock, you wouldn’t know what the day or time was.

So, what sort of employment were you thinking of applying for then, mother?

Thank you for the chuckles
Much needed today

 

[TNJJ]

Does anyone else get the indignant "look" when the PWD says they know what they are doing - I agree ReedySue its obviously us carers that are getting it wrong!

Yep..As well as the look dad usually accompanies it with another one .I call it the "Lucy" look.His mum used to do it.Sucked in cheeks and pursed lips.I get the "Lucy" look quite often.!

 

[DesperateofDevon]

Yep..As well as the look dad usually accompanies it with another one .I call it the "Lucy" look.His mum used to do it.Sucked in cheeks and pursed lips.I get the "Lucy" look quite often.!

Oh I call that one the “the cats bottom!”

 

[Guzelle]

I love that she can still type. My OH struggles to read now.

 

[Rosserk]

My mother was talking about getting a job the other day too, but agreed with me that she might find it difficult now. I think it was all part of the I don't want to be in this care home I want to be living an independent life scenario.

I was reading your post the other day and just as I finished my mother walked in and said I think I need to get a job! I had to go back and re-read your post to make sure I wasn’t dreaming!

 

[DesperateofDevon]

I was reading your post the other day and just as I finished my mother walked in and said I think I need to get a job! I had to go back and re-read your post to make sure I wasn’t dreaming!

My Dad is convinced he works in the care home!
He likes his male work mates ( carers) company !!!

 

[katydid]

I must say I like her attitude! We all have a really strong work ethic in our family and I want to cheer on all those people who get up and go.

At 87 she is in the same category as my 86 year old husband who in the early days of his dementia would sort out some tools, take a sandwich or some fruit and try to head out for work in the middle of the night. Sometimes several times in the same night. I didn’t know it then but those were his good times.

Give her a hug from me. I like her style.

Yes I know the feeling, that perhaps I missed “ the good times

 

[katydid]

Yes I know the feeling, that perhaps I missed “ the good times”. When we could walk and even talk, albeit rubbish! Now it’s good to get a hello from him, and we spend many hours in the care home without conversation.............
It’s a shame we don’t know what’s to come.