My OH has been in the care home for 4 weeks now. I had a lovely visit with him on Saturday. He was laughing and very loving. I was thinking of bringing him home with Carers part time. But today he was so different our daughter took me with my baby grandson and he was begging to come home and accusing me of having affairs with the milkman. We couldn’t pacify him whatever we said it was wrong! I’ve had this such a lot at home with aggression aswell. I know I can’t do it alone and I have tried Carers before but he wouldn’t accept them! It’s so very difficult if only the mood on Saturday was there all the time I know I could cope then.
Yes that’s the problem isn’t it. If you take OH out of the home because everything seems ok at the time and you believe you can cope and then when they get home it all goes terribly wrong, then what? Believe me I’ve agonised over this many times and I just can’t take the chance.
I met with a friend today, a carer, used to run homes years ago and has a wealth of experience with PWD and just as I started to explain my dilemma she said stop right there, I know what you’re going to say. Please don’t do it, your wife is cared for, safe, and calm. Who knows what could happen if you got her home. Could you take the chance. I know you miss her, but !!
I’m missing my wife so much but when she was here she was uncontrollable and I couldn’t handle it. I wish I’d had taken a video of her behaviour to remind me although I do have all the past posts to remind me.