my sister has stopped me from seeing my mother shes in the care home with dementia i have phoned up the care home and there have said that i carnt see her, i dont no what to do, i use to be very close to my mother ,my sister never bothered about her she kept away for years and then she fined out my mother was leaving me and my family money ,i do no this my sister was getting money and my brothers has well but i have fined out shes got me and my brothers out of the will shes getting the lot ,mother maid the will years ago when she was well but im not bothered about that i just want to see my mother , my sister has had the soilcitors in to change the will i dont no how shes got away with it when the last time my son went in to see her she couidnt Remember him he sat there with her and after ten minutes she couid not remember him
my sister has stoped me from seeing my mother shes in a care home with dementia
- Thread starter jowen
- Start date
Welcome to DTP, jowen. Sorry your sister is making life harder when you already have your mum's illness to deal with. I don't have any experience of your situation, but the national dementia helpline should be able to advise and there are others here with a better idea of how care homes operate.
National Dementia Helpline
0300 222 11 22
Our helpline advisers are here for you.
Helpline opening hours:
Monday to Wednesday 9am – 8pm
Thursday and Friday 9am – 5pm
Saturday and Sunday 10am – 4pm
National Dementia Helpline
0300 222 11 22
Our helpline advisers are here for you.
Helpline opening hours:
Monday to Wednesday 9am – 8pm
Thursday and Friday 9am – 5pm
Saturday and Sunday 10am – 4pm
hello @jowen
a warm welcome to DTP
I'm sorry that you're having this problem when you want to visit your mother
I'm not sure that the staff can actually prevent you from visiting, even if your sister has spoken to them, as it impacts on your mother's human right to have family contact ... however, maybe it's good that you aren't pushing the issue to make sure you don't cause distress to your mother ... if you can get to the home during the day, could you make an appointment with the manager, not to see your mother, but to chat through the situation with the manager .. make no accusations, simply explain that you would like to visit your mother and would even be happy for a visit to be in a public area so staff can keep an eye on your mother ... and should that be agreed, keep the visit low key, don't bring up any of this, so the staff see you do not want to upset your mother
are there Lasting Powers of Attorney in place for your mother ... as her Attorney has the responsibility of acting in your mother's best interests .... if your sister is her Attorney, you can contact the OPG to talk through the situation with them
if your mother has made a new will, the solicitor who was involved would have to be sure your mother has capacity to go ahead with this ... maybe write them a calm letter outlining your worries, they may not be able to discuss them with you, but you will know that they have been informed
as suggested, you might well find it helpful to have a chat with one of the advisors on the Helpline
a warm welcome to DTP
I'm sorry that you're having this problem when you want to visit your mother
I'm not sure that the staff can actually prevent you from visiting, even if your sister has spoken to them, as it impacts on your mother's human right to have family contact ... however, maybe it's good that you aren't pushing the issue to make sure you don't cause distress to your mother ... if you can get to the home during the day, could you make an appointment with the manager, not to see your mother, but to chat through the situation with the manager .. make no accusations, simply explain that you would like to visit your mother and would even be happy for a visit to be in a public area so staff can keep an eye on your mother ... and should that be agreed, keep the visit low key, don't bring up any of this, so the staff see you do not want to upset your mother
are there Lasting Powers of Attorney in place for your mother ... as her Attorney has the responsibility of acting in your mother's best interests .... if your sister is her Attorney, you can contact the OPG to talk through the situation with them
if your mother has made a new will, the solicitor who was involved would have to be sure your mother has capacity to go ahead with this ... maybe write them a calm letter outlining your worries, they may not be able to discuss them with you, but you will know that they have been informed
as suggested, you might well find it helpful to have a chat with one of the advisors on the Helpline
