Agree with all this. Other half has many terrible nights. DDs keep comparing it to looking after toddlers, and its true that there are some similarities, but while toddlers are exhausting and frustrating at times, they also bring joy. There is no joy in caring for someone with dementia.
I was gutted earlier this week, had assessment for him to go for a weeks respite, and the care home manager turned him down. I was shocked. OH became as he described it rather 'agitated' towards end of interview. I'd told him that it wasnt a good day because he had constipation, but he said he would have to interact with other residents and I guess he thought he might get aggressive.
I now have to start a new search on Monday.
Hello my lovely, I just wanted to say that I think you had a poor experience with the care home manager. It was definitely not the place to put your loved one. No one should have to interact with other residents, this should be a gently done interaction & introduction; adapted to the needs of your PWD. I think you’ve had a lucky escape.
Can you not ask adult social care for a needs assessment as you are entitled to4 weeks a year funded respite? A good social workers support is invaluable.
Care homes that cater to dementia are not always the ones with the chic hotel like decor I found, infact a little battered at the edges- but more funding is placed on care & wellbeing. Try the CQC care home ratings for your area, to make an informed choice. I googled care homes specialising in dementia when I was searching, social services had a list available of council approved homes.
I guess if you wanted to pay extra on top you should be able to do that. The thought of my lovely Dad going into a care home for respite that specialised in dealing with PWD did break my heart. But Dad has settled here permanently & I see the loving way the carers deal with each persons issues & demands.
I hope you find a place like this... I truly do.
Finding a good fit is really important. Even Dads social worker was impressed & amazed at the care home.
I also agree totally with you on my comparison of a toddler, there is no joy to be had in watching this degenerative disease destroy another person. It was the stubbornness & repetition of questions & the physical stage that had a slight comparison; as nothing else in my experience can relate to those certain degenerative behaviour issues. I hope though, that you still get the odd glimmer of your loved ones personality; though this to is heartbreaking
Sending my love & (((hugs)))