Hi.Most if you know me by my other posts..I was with dad yesterday and it wasn’t a bad day,all in all..But as much as dad irritates me ,you still wouldn’t wish this disease (VD) on anyone..............He said to me”I don’t think im going to get any better.I want to but I don’t think I am”.Then burst into tears.He is quite often emotional these days.Either by the VD or depression.(meds’ for depression have been increased).It was hard to watch.Dad never has been a hands on person,or likes people touching him.So ,I gave him his hankies and said”I wish I could do something about it,but I can’t“.He has mentioned going into a home,but he doesn’t want to.I know it sounds awful but it will be easier when he has less understanding.His mobility is getting poorer by the day...........Acceptance is never easy by anyone.
Dads aware of his problems
- Thread starter TNJJ
- Start date
My husband became more emotional as his dementia advanced @TNJJ. It could have been due to loss of inhibitions, depression or even fear and it really was easier for him when he had less understanding.
It`s awful to wish for progression but he really was much more contented during the later stages and I hope for the same for your dad.
It`s awful to wish for progression but he really was much more contented during the later stages and I hope for the same for your dad.
Same here @TNJJ
My dad was very angry with himself when he knew he was getting worse. It was hard watching him getting upset and calling himself an idiot - or worse.
But as time went on he lost the awareness and became contented, believing there was nothing wrong with him.
The last year or so had me and dad in fits of giggles at times as we tried to sort out some of the scrapes he'd got himself into so although it was harder work physically it was easier emotionally than seeing dad upset.
My dad was very angry with himself when he knew he was getting worse. It was hard watching him getting upset and calling himself an idiot - or worse.
But as time went on he lost the awareness and became contented, believing there was nothing wrong with him.
The last year or so had me and dad in fits of giggles at times as we tried to sort out some of the scrapes he'd got himself into so although it was harder work physically it was easier emotionally than seeing dad upset.
I understand what you are saying @TNJJ.
My wife is at a similar stage, aware of her condition, and frequently cries and tells me that she is afraid. I just reassure her and tell her not to worry as always "I've got her back". This helps in the moment but has to be repeated because of the memory issues.
I'm yet another carer who is waiting for a loved one to become less aware so that they can be more content.
My wife is at a similar stage, aware of her condition, and frequently cries and tells me that she is afraid. I just reassure her and tell her not to worry as always "I've got her back". This helps in the moment but has to be repeated because of the memory issues.
I'm yet another carer who is waiting for a loved one to become less aware so that they can be more content.
My Mum seems at a similar stage. She too has been making the same comments about knowing she is not going to get better and crying. Mum will allow a short hug but as you say so hard to watch. She also has done a few staggers and come close to falling.
Fortunately before Mum got diagnosed she had some friends in good care homes and therefore has a positive experience of them. Consequently we visited a few and she asked to go on a waiting list of one.
Fortunately before Mum got diagnosed she had some friends in good care homes and therefore has a positive experience of them. Consequently we visited a few and she asked to go on a waiting list of one.
It creates a hopeful feeling when there is some acceptance of a Care Home environment.
I recently had a walk round at a Care Home in the same complex where my wife attends a Day Centre and my wife was with me. As we walked along a corridor we met a couple of residents who were known to my wife so she chatted and seemed content with the place(as was I).
This acceptance creates a hope for an easier transition when the time comes for respite or full time care.
I hope things go as well as they can for your dad @TNJJ and your Mum @Bikerbeth.
I recently had a walk round at a Care Home in the same complex where my wife attends a Day Centre and my wife was with me. As we walked along a corridor we met a couple of residents who were known to my wife so she chatted and seemed content with the place(as was I).
This acceptance creates a hope for an easier transition when the time comes for respite or full time care.
I hope things go as well as they can for your dad @TNJJ and your Mum @Bikerbeth.
