My Dad (80) has to have an operation soon and Mum (77) who has dementia ( mixed Alzheimers and Vascular) and is declining quickly and some days she forgets who I am and who my Dad is. The CPN has suggested Respite care and I visited various homes and found one that can accommodate my Mum’s needs as she an insulin dependant diabetic.
She is quite aggressive to Dad and has delusions of seeing past family members and forgets her parents have passed on 30+ years ago. Mum attend Daycare once a week but says he hates it as it is full of old people but still goes because she needs to look after them?
Dad is coming to stay with me and our house so I can look after him after his operation and I have got to break the news she needs to go into respite care as I can’t have them both as Mum is quite aggressive and my family circumstances means I can only cope with my Dad. He can’t do anything much when he gets home.
How do I go about broaching the subject of my Mum of accepting Respite Care but I am scared of her reaction and I need to tell her as I have assessment information to fill out for the care. She will want to be at my home but I just can’t juggle Mum and Dad as I have a 12 year old Autistic daughter who does not cope well with my Mum’s mood swings and actions.
I feel such a bad daughter not having Mum as well but Dad and I cook clean, do the laundry sorting out bills, shopping and though Mum in her mind does everything she actually wanders around the house in circles not achieving much other than getting angry if she doesn’t get her own way or in bed with ‘imaginary’ medical conditions that need urgent medical help and in the afternoon she makes a miraculous recovery.
Dad is getting as he can’t cope with Mum and both of us are treading on eggshells with her. I think we are scared slightly of her outbursts and actions, she says I am the world’s worst daughter and I don’t care about her. I love her but she can’t see that,
Any tips on how to broach the season subject of Respite care?
She is quite aggressive to Dad and has delusions of seeing past family members and forgets her parents have passed on 30+ years ago. Mum attend Daycare once a week but says he hates it as it is full of old people but still goes because she needs to look after them?
Dad is coming to stay with me and our house so I can look after him after his operation and I have got to break the news she needs to go into respite care as I can’t have them both as Mum is quite aggressive and my family circumstances means I can only cope with my Dad. He can’t do anything much when he gets home.
How do I go about broaching the subject of my Mum of accepting Respite Care but I am scared of her reaction and I need to tell her as I have assessment information to fill out for the care. She will want to be at my home but I just can’t juggle Mum and Dad as I have a 12 year old Autistic daughter who does not cope well with my Mum’s mood swings and actions.
I feel such a bad daughter not having Mum as well but Dad and I cook clean, do the laundry sorting out bills, shopping and though Mum in her mind does everything she actually wanders around the house in circles not achieving much other than getting angry if she doesn’t get her own way or in bed with ‘imaginary’ medical conditions that need urgent medical help and in the afternoon she makes a miraculous recovery.
Dad is getting as he can’t cope with Mum and both of us are treading on eggshells with her. I think we are scared slightly of her outbursts and actions, she says I am the world’s worst daughter and I don’t care about her. I love her but she can’t see that,
Any tips on how to broach the season subject of Respite care?