Doctor will not do anything unless sister asks herself

[LongDistance]

Hi All - I’m a complete newbie here.
I live overseas and hadn’t seen family for two years. During my recent visit my brother-in-law told me he believes my sister has some form of dementia. I shan’t go into detail but the narrative is convincing and my own observations tend to confirm.
He saw their doctor to ask for help and advice and was told by the doctor that he couldn’t (or wouldn’t) do anything unless my sister sought help herself. My brother-in-law raised the subject with my sister resulting in a two-day distressing ‘meltdown’ from her before she, in his words “just seems to have forgotten all about it”. So he’s been baulked at the first hurdle. Where does he go from here?
I want to help but I’m 2,000 miles away. Any suggestions gratefully received.

 

[Shedrech]

hello @LongDistance
a warm welcome to DTP
unfortunately the GP's reaction isn't a one off ... they can feel limited by patient confidentiality
however, GP's do have to note any information given by family members, so might your brother write to the GP and put all your concerns in bullet points ... that way at least the info is there for them should your sister visit her GP

and keep a log of any behaviours or inabilities that are a worry, so you have specific and dated examples to give as evidence when it's needed

your sister's reaction is not unusual either ... there's nothing to be gained in trying to force the issue, as you found ... so maybe be a bit sneaky instead ... is there any other reason for your sister to visit her GP eg an existing medical concern or something physical your brother has noticed that your sister would accept is worth having checked out, or a flu jab ... maybe say a bit of a memory blip can be down to something as 'small' as a vitamin deficiency so worth getting the GP to do a quick blood test and get a supplement prescribed rather than pay for them ... or can your brother make an appointment, tell your sister it is for him and ask if she'd come along for moral support ...?

 

[LongDistance]

hello @LongDistance
a warm welcome to DTP
unfortunately the GP's reaction isn't a one off ... they can feel limited by patient confidentiality
however, GP's do have to note any information given by family members, so might your brother write to the GP and put all your concerns in bullet points ... that way at least the info is there for them should your sister visit her GP

and keep a log of any behaviours or inabilities that are a worry, so you have specific and dated examples to give as evidence when it's needed

your sister's reaction is not unusual either ... there's nothing to be gained in trying to force the issue, as you found ... so maybe be a bit sneaky instead ... is there any other reason for your sister to visit her GP eg an existing medical concern or something physical your brother has noticed that your sister would accept is worth having checked out, or a flu jab ... maybe say a bit of a memory blip can be down to something as 'small' as a vitamin deficiency so worth getting the GP to do a quick blood test and get a supplement prescribed rather than pay for them ... or can your brother make an appointment, tell your sister it is for him and ask if she'd come along for moral support ...?

Thank you. I’ll pass that on to him.

 

[canary]

Hi @LongDistance
Ive just read an interesting thread on here which might be of interest to you too
https://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/threads/concerns-over-father-in-law.117216/

 

[LongDistance]

Hi @LongDistance
Ive just read an interesting thread on here which might be of interest to you too
Thank you

 

[Countryboy]

If you don't have consent

You can raise concerns about your friend or relative's health with their GP without their consent, but because of patient confidentiality, the GP won't be able to discuss any details.

A GP can only intervene if a friend or relative needs treatment under the Mental Health Act (1983).

This act allows some people with mental health problems to be compulsorily detained in a psychiatric hospital.

Consent to treatment
In English law, nobody can give consent to treatment on behalf of another adult. Only the person receiving the treatment can give their permission for it to go ahead.

If a person's condition means they're unable to make a decision about their treatment – for example, if they have dementia – the healthcare professionals treating them must act in the person's best interests.

But you can apply to become someone's deputy if they "lack mental capacity".

This means they can't make a decision for themselves at the time it needs to be made. They may still be able to make decisions for themselves at certain times.