Respite care - mention it or keep quiet?!

[Donkeyshere]

Hi Just need some advice, the MIL agreed to respite care about a month ago and its all sorted for middle next month - we had to get her agreement with the doctor (as she still has some capacity) and then the social worker came to assess her needs and all went well, before this she kicked off on several occasions refusing respite care. Anyway at the moment she has forgotten we are going on holiday and she will be going into respite care in a lovely home for 2 weeks. Do you thinks its best just to keep it quiet until we pack her case or say something a bit before that to get her prepared? She has lucid days and not so lucid days but short term retention is deteriorating so wonder if there is much point as it may also stress her (and us!) Thanks

 

[Grahamstown]

I tell my husband that he is going to have a holiday and that I need the rest because I am not too well so we shall be going separately. He forgets about it more or less immediately. This worked in May when he was much better and he is going again in two weeks time so I shan’t say anything now until the person comes to assess his needs, when I shall tell him again. Then I keep quiet until the time, pack quietly and keep the suitcase out of sight. On the day I tell him the same again and try to make it a happy outing and that I shall be coming back soon. I stress the fact that he is having a holiday.

 

[Beate]

Keep quiet!

 

[Sirena]

I agree with Beate, don't mention it to her. She doesn't have the mental capacity to 'prepare' for it, she probably doesn't have a great grasp on time either so she may think it's happening tomorrow rather than further in the future, and it may cause her some distress/agitation if she has a partial memory that something is happening which she has mixed feelings about. Let sleeping dogs lie.

 

[Donkeyshere]

I agree with Beate, don't mention it to her. She doesn't have the mental capacity to 'prepare' for it, she probably doesn't have a great grasp on time either so she may think it's happening tomorrow rather than further in the future, and it may cause her some distress/agitation if she has a partial memory that something is happening which she has mixed feelings about. Let sleeping dogs lie.

Thanks all you ave solidified my own thoughts.