Any other with parent with cognitive issues after stroke ?

manArgentina

Registered User
Aug 10, 2019
42
0
Mendoza, Argentina
HI, any other ? Specially with anger issues as aftermath, cant do simple maths, short memory loss, but not "lost" such as dont recognizing people already knew, or with vivid delusions.
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
81,455
0
Kent
I have no experience of the after effects of a stroke @manArgentina and it is quite late here in the UK so you may not get any advice or support until tomorrow.

My husband didn`t have a stroke but I think he was angry because he couldn`t understand what was happening to him and he was frightened.
 

manArgentina

Registered User
Aug 10, 2019
42
0
Mendoza, Argentina
HI, any other ? Specially with anger issues as aftermath, cant do simple maths, short memory loss, but not "lost" such as dont recognizing people already knew, or with vivid delusions.

Hi, about the anger, hm, my mother gets angry about any kind of small things... she just start complaining.

Any thing I say could be just a trigger to have an angry reply from her, sometimes im just stressed about thinking "i should tell her this.. or maybe this going to make her angry, but i have to tell her, but i dont want to listen her talking in an angry way".

Some time ago i saw she had chicken in bad state in the fridge, and i thought about tell her, but she doesnt like to throw away food, and it was like i said "do i tell her to throw it, no, i just dont want to start a fight", she ended up being sick for a day or two.

Today she called me because her TV wasnt working, again, she just complaining about things.

And its like this everyday, even when i go to visit her and at the begining she looks happy and tell me thanks for go, but maybe i say or i do something and she angry again, at this point, she just likes to be angry, she love it, she feel powerful, she have been so consumed by her anger that she just doesnt understand how is to be nice, she thinks its ok to be angry all the time, more than that, she thinks its the best way.

Its just so no sense to look at her acting like this, thinking "*** are you doing, cant you just be a normal person". Sometimes trying to make her a favor, and she jus getting angry, and then she playing the victim card and how all people are bad with her and its just "c´on...".

Im use to this, so not such big deal.

Sometimes she doesnt remember something, something that told me, something without importance, like... some days ago, came someone to repair a kitchen table, and he told us what was the wood of the table, and its like "ok", and if she ask me what was the wood the man told her, and I say "i dont remember", she would get angry about how i could not remember, and etc etc etc... and things like this, all-the-time, sometimes one after another, and another...

I can talk about this so much and detail situations, but would be such long to write, and so small things like... make pizza... wash dishes... change the tv... just "hm" and she saying she dont like i say "hm"... etc.
 
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TNJJ

Registered User
May 7, 2019
2,967
0
cornwall
Hi.Yes I have a father who has vascular dementia.He had a stroke which affected him in 2017.He has left sided weakness but had several before that one.He was diagnosed in 2016........Dad says “hmm “ a lot too.He will get angry with me and contradict me,but I have learnt to let some of it go.Dad has always been selfish and a narcissistic personality and this has got more pronounced as he has got older.He will remember the names of regular visitors but cannot remember his granddaughters name.He calls her(the maid).He remembered her yesterday as she came to see him with me.Sometimes it is hard to tell the difference between the dementia or personality to be honest.
 
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manArgentina

Registered User
Aug 10, 2019
42
0
Mendoza, Argentina
Hi.Yes I have a father who has vascular dementia.He had a stroke which affected him in 2017.He has left sided weakness but had several before that one.He was diagnosed in 2016........Dad says “hmm “ a lot too.He will get angry with me and contradict me,but I have learnt to let some of it go.Dad has always been selfish and a narcissistic personality and this has got more pronounced as he has got older.He will remember the names of regular visitors but cannot remember his granddaughters name.He calls her(the maid).He remembered her yesterday as she came to see him with me.Sometimes it is hard to tell the difference between the dementia or personality to be honest.

Hi, thanks for anser. My mother doesnt have problems with names of people, at least not with relatives, of people she see more than 1 time, or remembering life episodes, her issue is just at short memory, and after a while she can remember it, sometimes pretty quickly "what i was doing ? oh, yes that", sometimes just get lost, but sometimes just take few secondos or minutes to remember.

But you said something interesting, about whats the line between the personality and the dementia. At this point all cognitivie issues my mother have have mix so much into her that theres no difference between the dementia and her personality, its just 1 thing, and sometimes is hard to treat her knowing her issues, and... anyway, its just hard, to complain to everything she says.
 

TNJJ

Registered User
May 7, 2019
2,967
0
cornwall
It is yes.I have had a difficult day today with dad.It has been one thing after another.Nothing I have done is good enough.So I told him straight today.It is all on the “Vent “post
 

manArgentina

Registered User
Aug 10, 2019
42
0
Mendoza, Argentina
It is yes.I have had a difficult day today with dad.It has been one thing after another.Nothing I have done is good enough.So I told him straight today.It is all on the “Vent “post
Gonna check it later and read it. I maybe have to go to repair something on the tv of my mother, maybe its just the batteries
 

Elle3

Registered User
Jun 30, 2016
705
0
My Mother in law had a serious stroke 10 years ago, which unfortunately left her paralyzed all down her left side which means she is chair or bed bound and requires 24/7 care which my father in law gives her. She was also later diagnosed with Vascular Dementia.

The Stroke and Dementia has changed her personality quite a bit, she now likes things she used to hate and vice versa, she still has a good memory for names and faces and surprisingly some facts etc from years ago, but can't remember what she just ate for lunch. She only see's down one side, although vision in both eyes is fine, her brain does not tell her that there is food on the left side of the plate or there are words on the left side of a page. However the worse thing is that she constantly has hallucinations, she sees monkey's in the garden, babies everywhere and gets extremely upset if you try to tell her there is nothing there. She constantly believes I have another baby, her daughter has died some horrible death even though she can be stood right in front of her or her sons have some bad injuries, even though we can show her they aren't true.

We all think it is quite funny sometimes and just go along with her, but my father in law who lives with it 24/7 gets very upset by it all, especially when she believes he is having an affair with their grand daughter!! No amount of telling her this isn't true, she just won't have it and this can make her angry and aggressive, but fortunately as she can't move from her chair, she can do little about it. I think if she had been mobile after the stroke and the Dementia, my Father in law would not have been able to cope with her.
 

TNJJ

Registered User
May 7, 2019
2,967
0
cornwall
My Mother in law had a serious stroke 10 years ago, which unfortunately left her paralyzed all down her left side which means she is chair or bed bound and requires 24/7 care which my father in law gives her. She was also later diagnosed with Vascular Dementia.

The Stroke and Dementia has changed her personality quite a bit, she now likes things she used to hate and vice versa, she still has a good memory for names and faces and surprisingly some facts etc from years ago, but can't remember what she just ate for lunch. She only see's down one side, although vision in both eyes is fine, her brain does not tell her that there is food on the left side of the plate or there are words on the left side of a page. However the worse thing is that she constantly has hallucinations, she sees monkey's in the garden, babies everywhere and gets extremely upset if you try to tell her there is nothing there. She constantly believes I have another baby, her daughter has died some horrible death even though she can be stood right in front of her or her sons have some bad injuries, even though we can show her they aren't true.

We all think it is quite funny sometimes and just go along with her, but my father in law who lives with it 24/7 gets very upset by it all, especially when she believes he is having an affair with their grand daughter!! No amount of telling her this isn't true, she just won't have it and this can make her angry and aggressive, but fortunately as she can't move from her chair, she can do little about it. I think if she had been mobile after the stroke and the Dementia, my Father in law would not have been able to cope with her.
Hi.Dad is either in his chair or bed.He is unable to walk unaided.But,apparently he is going to try and walk without his frame..............Dad has always been difficult and can be even more so now....