Care home resident enjoys showering but care home only offering once a week

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Gigglemore

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Oct 18, 2013
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British Isles
Just to confirm that when I was referring to Mum's experience it was because she DOES enjoy showering and, having lost a number of life's little pleasures due to dementia, I thought this was one she could retain. Perhaps if the home had explained at the outset that shower/bath would be once weekly it would have been less of a shock - I did not think to ask them if there was a restriction. I was certainly not advocating forcing anyone who did not enjoy the experience to have showers more frequently.

Mum is unsteady but fairly mobile and there is no question of needing hoists or two carers. I did not mean to imply any criticism of anyone who was not insisting on frequent showers/baths for their loved ones. I know I am so lucky that Mum does still have good things to enjoy and feel so sorry for those of you whose loved ones have become frail and who need so much care just to be made reasonably comfortable. TP is here for us to support each other and I would never want to offend anyone who is having to bear the pain of having a loved one suffer.
 

Maggietyler1963

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Sep 1, 2019
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I have seen lots of posts about loved ones being unwilling to bathe or accept help with personal hygiene but my current issue is the opposite. Mum has been in respite for a few weeks and the notes I provided when taking her to the home explained she is happy to accept help to shower. Was initially shocked to learn they were only going to shower her once a week - at home it was usually about 4 times weekly (her choice). I expressed my surprise and concern in that first week when I found she'd only had one shower/hairwash (she kept complaining to me about her itchy head, but could not remember if/when it had been washed). The staff agreed that she could have showers twice a week (made me feel like this was special treatment!)

When checking her schedule for this week to find a suitable day to make a dr appointment was horrified to be told by one of the carers that Mum still only gets showered once a week. I have been reassuring Mum it was more often as I really just assumed she was forgetting the showers and hairwashing as her memory is so bad.

I feel that I have been lied to and that I have let Mum down by not believing her. I now understand why Mum so enjoys the evenings I put her to bed, as I wash her itchy back for her.

I think that for someone who enjoys showers, once a week is unacceptable. She is very compliant so if staff say "you don't need to shower today, do you?" she will agree rather than feel she should put them to the trouble of assisting her.

I am now determined to look at other care homes but just wondered about other carers' experience of bathing routines in homes. I think a shower twice a week is the minimum that should be offered, given that Mum is fairly mobile and just needs the assistance of one carer. Am I really being too demanding, in the 21st century with all the modern equipment available to care homes?

Now I've got that off my chest might be able to simmer down and get some sleep!
 

Maggietyler1963

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Sep 1, 2019
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If its any comfort, it is much easier to reach and wash all the 'bits' when giving a bed bath, as opposed to actually putting someone in the bath or shower :) With a bed bath, its so much easier to turn someone, and even to do things like making sure in between the toes are properly washed - in a bath, or if someone is sat on a shower chair, it can be so much more difficult to do other than squeeze a sponge of soapy water and then rinse, in order to try to get the bottom area properly clean - and lifting someones foot/feet in the bath can cause panic, and some find it hard to balance once feet are lifted. Although we technically were not supposed to 'waste' pads, the biggest incontinence pads, plus 3 large towels, made it more than possible to give full shampoo's too - rolled towel under neck, pad placed under neck and head, towel over the top of the pad - and a bowel of warm water and a small jug. An experienced carer can combine this with a full bedding change, and it can be done quickly and gently - it meant that even those who were bed bound and too fearful of the hoist or water, could be kept lovely and clean and comfortable.

I do agree though, that those who want a bath or shower more than once a week should be able to have this - its not just about keeping clean - a bath or shower can be so relaxing, and for some, they just don't feel 'fresh' enough, and so are not comfortable with a 'once a week' tubbing :(
my mum smells like a wet dog i dont think she gets showered at all. i am a care assistant i don't get why they only do bed bath when its easier to just shower
 
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