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[Lemons]

My mother was diagnosed recently with Alzheimer's, she is 89, so not surprised she has some form of dementia. She is in an Extra Care Home facility (she has a one-bedroom flat) but I don't think it is the best place for her to receive the help she needs. I am at present waiting to hear from a Social Worker to see if she can be moved closer to me as I am unable to help her as she is over 100 miles away. The Social Worker wants to know more about her needs. I am not sure what to say as I can see her needs, but last time they were involved they insisted that my mum could manage on her own in this Extra Care Home. At the time it seemed like the right move, but since the move last year, mum seems to have deteriorated and no doubt another move would probably have the same effect. However, I would like her to be closer to me as she has few visitors and trying to sort her care from a distance is really difficult. My mum, in theory, has said she would like to move closer to me but it will depend on if the Council can fund her.

At the Extra Care Home, they say mum is ok as she is. They don't want her to move. But she is unhappy, gets frustrated with her failing memory and has missed various hospital appointments because she forgot about them. I just want to do what is best for my mum. Any advice on how I can do what is best would be appreciated.

 

[mickeyplum]

My mother was diagnosed recently with Alzheimer's, she is 89, so not surprised she has some form of dementia. She is in an Extra Care Home facility (she has a one-bedroom flat) but I don't think it is the best place for her to receive the help she needs. I am at present waiting to hear from a Social Worker to see if she can be moved closer to me as I am unable to help her as she is over 100 miles away. The Social Worker wants to know more about her needs. I am not sure what to say as I can see her needs, but last time they were involved they insisted that my mum could manage on her own in this Extra Care Home. At the time it seemed like the right move, but since the move last year, mum seems to have deteriorated and no doubt another move would probably have the same effect. However, I would like her to be closer to me as she has few visitors and trying to sort her care from a distance is really difficult. My mum, in theory, has said she would like to move closer to me but it will depend on if the Council can fund her.

At the Extra Care Home, they say mum is ok as she is. They don't want her to move. But she is unhappy, gets frustrated with her failing memory and has missed various hospital appointments because she forgot about them. I just want to do what is best for my mum. Any advice on how I can do what is best would be appreciated.

Sorry I have no suggestions to offer but I'm sure other people on here can help. I'd just like to welcome you to Talking Point. You are among friends who understand

 

[nae sporran]

Welcome to DTP, Lemons. Sorry, there's not much I can offer either. My partner and I are in supported housing and trying to get Social Services to move her to anywhere better is not easy.
The missed appointments are a worry though. Does the Extra Care Housing have a support worker who can make sure appointments are posted to a notice board and carers are informed so they can help as part of the care plan? One of our neighbours has a support worker from the council who helps with things like that.

 

[Lemons]

Thank you for your welcome mickeyplum.

 

[Lemons]

Welcome to DTP, Lemons. Sorry, there's not much I can offer either. My partner and I are in supported housing and trying to get Social Services to move her to anywhere better is not easy.
The missed appointments are a worry though. Does the Extra Care Housing have a support worker who can make sure appointments are posted to a notice board and carers are informed so they can help as part of the care plan? One of our neighbours has a support worker from the council who helps with things like that.

Unfortunately, there are no support workers allocated to my mum, just a couple of care workers on duty at any time, plus the scheme manager. I have asked to be notified of any hospital appointments but they say they can't ask to look at letters and mum should tell them if she has an appointment. Well, of course, she forgets to tell them and she is a very private person.

 

[Banjomansmate]

Hi Lemons
First off, do you have Lasting Powers of Attorney for Finance and/or Health and Welfare for your Mum? If not then they are the first things to put in place then you can ask Hospitals, clinics etc. to send you copies if her appointment letters so that you know what is going on and can either remind your Mum or let the care workers know about appointments.

I don’t know what happens now but twenty years ago my Dad’s local Council (London) were prepared to pay for him to move to a Care Home near me.

 

[Lemons]

Hi Lemons
First off, do you have Lasting Powers of Attorney for Finance and/or Health and Welfare for your Mum? If not then they are the first things to put in place then you can ask Hospitals, clinics etc. to send you copies if her appointment letters so that you know what is going on and can either remind your Mum or let the care workers know about appointments.

I don’t know what happens now but twenty years ago my Dad’s local Council (London) were prepared to pay for him to move to a Care Home near me.

Hi Banjomansmate, yes we do have POA for both but they don't come into force until mum is not able to make decisions for herself so I gather. Care workers at the place mum lives want mum to be independent and sort things out for herself. It is a struggle as they say they are not a nursing home and they have a fine line to walk with regard to respecting mum's privacy.

Hoping the council will decide to fund mum so that she can be closer. Waiting to hear back from them after they have done a financial assessment and assessed mum's needs.

 

[Rosettastone57]

Hi Banjomansmate, yes we do have POA for both but they don't come into force until mum is not able to make decisions for herself so I gather. Care workers at the place mum lives want mum to be independent and sort things out for herself. It is a struggle as they say they are not a nursing home and they have a fine line to walk with regard to respecting mum's privacy.

Hoping the council will decide to fund mum so that she can be closer. Waiting to hear back from them after they have done a financial assessment and assessed mum's needs.

I was about to say that POA for finances and property allows you to redirect the post to you, regarding medical appointments. However, with the conditions you've mentioned, I'm not sure that can be worked . Others will be along soon with better advice on this

 

[Banjomansmate]

The LPA’s can be registered with your Mum’s permission now, they can be used if she was physically unable to access banks etc. to enable you to look after her affairs.

 

[Lemons]

I was about to say that POA for finances and property allows you to redirect the post to you, regarding medical appointments. However, with the conditions you've mentioned, I'm not sure that can be worked . Others will be along soon with better advice on this

Thank you Rosettastone57, sadly I am not named on the POA, my brother only wanted himself on it, which is frustrating as I am the one sorting things out.

 

[Lemons]

The LPA’s can be registered with your Mum’s permission now, they can be used if she was physically unable to access banks etc. to enable you to look after her affairs.

I shall look into that, thanks Banjomansmate.

 

[nellbelles]

Thank you Rosettastone57, sadly I am not named on the POA, my brother only wanted himself on it, which is frustrating as I am the one sorting things out.

Then I’m afraid your brother will have to step up and start taking on the responsibilities that he wanted..