Sugar in her coffee

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
2,119
0
Bedford
Other people go through so much worse on this site but I am sad to say my little sports car (retirement present to myself) was part exchanged for a sensible small car today as Mum can no longer get in the sports car and with the increased mileage I am doing I need something more economical. Also having read on here PWD getting out of cars whilst been driven I think the child locks may be a benefit in the future.
 

Baker17

Registered User
Mar 9, 2016
3,382
0
Other people go through so much worse on this site but I am sad to say my little sports car (retirement present to myself) was part exchanged for a sensible small car today as Mum can no longer get in the sports car and with the increased mileage I am doing I need something more economical. Also having read on here PWD getting out of cars whilst been driven I think the child locks may be a benefit in the future.
I know how you feel because I had to change my sports car for a sensible option for the same reason as you, i nearly had to bundle my husband in one day so that’s when I decided it was time reluctantly to be sensible, maybe one day I’ll get another one
 

Taddy

New member
Aug 16, 2019
2
0
Good visit with Mum today. Managed to track down the rotary washing line that had gone AWOL and she has now agreed to having hot meals delivered 5 days a week. We had a nice meal in her favourite cafe and no sugar in her coffee today!
I'm a new member but just wanted to say I like that you posted you'd had a good day! That's great.
 

Taddy

New member
Aug 16, 2019
2
0
Yes I think I am very lucky that Mum is instigating the Care Home option even if it does end up with the ‘not yet’ situation. If I can get her to have a look around or do a respite it would give me an idea of what she would like going forward when she may not be able to articulate or know what she wants so much. Mum has carers in twice a week who know to chat to her as they clean. I think some ‘chatting’ is appreciated more than others but the agency do try and send the carers she likes most of the time. How did you get your Mum to go into a care home?
I am lucky to live in part of the country that has extra care housing. These are individual flats , with a restaurant , lounge etc. but careers 24 hr. Mum has 4 visits a day - one to help her wash and get her breakfast, 1 to take her down to the restaurant for lunch, 1 for tea- time and 1 for medication just before bed. They are nearly always the same carers and she has built up a good relationship with them . The apartment block is a mix of over 60s - most of whom need no care yet, some have physical needs ( using zimmers etc) and a very few have dementia. Mum was mild when she was accepted ( which may be the case in yr mums case if she is managing with 2 care visits a week) so now would be the ideal time to look.. just thought it might be worth checking out before CH? I am now coming to realise that mum has taken another big dip in her dementia but She can still stay where she is ..
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
2,119
0
Bedford
I know how you feel because I had to change my sports car for a sensible option for the same reason as you, i nearly had to bundle my husband in one day so that’s when I decided it was time reluctantly to be sensible, maybe one day I’ll get another one
Think positively ‘one day you will get that new sports car’. I must admit they did have the bright orange MX5 in the show room I would rather have had.....
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
2,119
0
Bedford
I'm a new member but just wanted to say I like that you posted you'd had a good day! That's great.
Welcome and Thank you. Mum is still early stages. After being the daughter and now turning into the Carer it is really nice when I see Mum as the person she is to others which I have never seen before.
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
2,119
0
Bedford
I am lucky to live in part of the country that has extra care housing. These are individual flats , with a restaurant , lounge etc. but careers 24 hr. Mum has 4 visits a day - one to help her wash and get her breakfast, 1 to take her down to the restaurant for lunch, 1 for tea- time and 1 for medication just before bed. They are nearly always the same carers and she has built up a good relationship with them . The apartment block is a mix of over 60s - most of whom need no care yet, some have physical needs ( using zimmers etc) and a very few have dementia. Mum was mild when she was accepted ( which may be the case in yr mums case if she is managing with 2 care visits a week) so now would be the ideal time to look.. just thought it might be worth checking out before CH? I am now coming to realise that mum has taken another big dip in her dementia but She can still stay where she is ..
Hi again. Thank you for the suggestion. Yes we did look at extra care housing of the type you mentioned as there is an excellent one near us. However taking advise from the dementia nurse there, the feeling was it was too late now as it could mean 2 changes of residence quite close together. Glad to hear that your Mum is able to stay where she is despite the dip in her dementia. I know there was another lady on here whose Mum was able to stay in extra care housing for a long time
 

Rosserk

Registered User
Jul 9, 2019
396
0
Hi. Yes many of those apply to my Mum too. I used to be accused of moving and hiding stuff but over the last few months it is the man that comes in during the night. I now find post it notes everywhere saying ‘ do not move’ or ‘do not use’

My mum hides things as well and too! She is always saying there are people in her room and that they have taken all her things. She thinks I’m mad because I don’t see these people who come and go.she will wrap things up in pieces of paper and writs on them, mums do not touch! She’s angry all the time about these mysterious visitors!
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
2,119
0
Bedford
My mum hides things as well and too! She is always saying there are people in her room and that they have taken all her things. She thinks I’m mad because I don’t see these people who come and go.she will wrap things up in pieces of paper and writs on them, mums do not touch! She’s angry all the time about these mysterious visitors!
Not good if your Mum is getting angry. Is it worth a trip to the GP about it unless you have already done so.
Mum wraps everything up in plastic bags with elastic bands round them and usually a bit of kitchen towel for good measure.
 

Rosserk

Registered User
Jul 9, 2019
396
0
Not good if your Mum is getting angry. Is it worth a trip to the GP about it unless you have already done so.
Mum wraps everything up in plastic bags with elastic bands round them and usually a bit of kitchen towel for good measure.

Not good if your Mum is getting angry. Is it worth a trip to the GP about it unless you have already done so.
Mum wraps everything up in plastic bags with elastic bands round them and usually a bit of kitchen towel for good measure.

I feel like I’m banging my head against a brick wall! Her Doctor, social services and the mental health team have done absolutely nothing.

My mum lives with us and I’m finding it really difficult to cope with. It’s impossible to engage with her because she is so aggressive so I leave the room if she comes in and avoid talking to her. For example if I say do you want a biscuit she will bark back with ‘stop shouting at me’! Then I feel incredibly guilty for not talking to her but no matter what I say she is combative. She has always enjoyed the peace and quiet and her own company so spends a lot of time in her room and I just leave her to it because that’s her routine. They say a persons worst traits are exaggerated with dementia and that’s certainly true with my mother, she’s extremely difficult to like. Every day is filled with nastiness and I’m permanently sad.

My mums dementia progressed rapidly and she has good and bad days. I expect your mum does too, hopefully she will be better the next time you call.
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
2,119
0
Bedford
I feel like I’m banging my head against a brick wall! Her Doctor, social services and the mental health team have done absolutely nothing.

My mum lives with us and I’m finding it really difficult to cope with. It’s impossible to engage with her because she is so aggressive so I leave the room if she comes in and avoid talking to her. For example if I say do you want a biscuit she will bark back with ‘stop shouting at me’! Then I feel incredibly guilty for not talking to her but no matter what I say she is combative. She has always enjoyed the peace and quiet and her own company so spends a lot of time in her room and I just leave her to it because that’s her routine. They say a persons worst traits are exaggerated with dementia and that’s certainly true with my mother, she’s extremely difficult to like. Every day is filled with nastiness and I’m permanently sad.

My mums dementia progressed rapidly and she has good and bad days. I expect your mum does too, hopefully she will be better the next time you call.
There does seem to be lots of people like yourself who are constantly banging your head on a brick wall with GP’s etc and a few that obtain exceptional help. I have so much respect for those on here who are full time carers.
 

Sam Luvit

Registered User
Oct 19, 2016
6,083
0
East Sussex
There does seem to be lots of people like yourself who are constantly banging your head on a brick wall with GP’s etc and a few that obtain exceptional help. I have so much respect for those on here who are full time carers.

Trust me ... sales of CM went up and up while I was caring for my mum ... they have dropped considerably now :rolleyes:
 

Sam Luvit

Registered User
Oct 19, 2016
6,083
0
East Sussex
The thing with Alzheimers @Rosserk is that the feeling remain, while the reason is forgotten. I found (as many do) that Mum wouId be cross, but not necessarily know why. So I’d leave the room ... come back in offering tea or cake .. it might take one attempt or five, but eventually I’d walk back in saying “cup of tea Mum” and the offer wouId be accepted.

It’s incredibly hard, but you have to walk in with a smile on your face, no matter how much you feel like strangling them.
 

Rosserk

Registered User
Jul 9, 2019
396
0
The thing with Alzheimers @Rosserk is that the feeling remain, while the reason is forgotten. I found (as many do) that Mum wouId be cross, but not necessarily know why. So I’d leave the room ... come back in offering tea or cake .. it might take one attempt or five, but eventually I’d walk back in saying “cup of tea Mum” and the offer wouId be accepted.

It’s incredibly hard, but you have to walk in with a smile on your face, no matter how much you feel like strangling them.

My mum doesn’t let things go that easily which leaves me wondering if she still has some control over what she does and says. She never behaves nasty or aggressive with my hubby which makes me furious. It’s the hiding things that’s the worse she will hide the remote control to her tv and then carry on and on that she can’t turn the telly on or change channels! She insists that someone else is hiding it, this happens every single day sometimes several times a day and I spend ages searching for it.

Today she got right up in my face and said “someone is taking my things and I’m going to catch them and when I do I’m going to smash them in the face!” It sounds funny but it makes me feel physically sick, I just want to run away and hide! It’s relentless