Many thanks Kevinl, wow what a minefield it is. I guess the difficultly which I forgot to mention is that dad has lost capacity although we still have many a day when we have serious conversations
I'd put it up for sale now. My aunt went into a care home in May 2017. Sale was completed at the end of August.
She was never going back there, the money would be needed for her care, and I didn't want to be responsible for it through the winter. Especially as I live 100 miles away. It's hard work and very emotional but it's better done sooner rather than later in my opinion.
Before it went on sale I brought home all paperwork, albums, etc, for sorting. I also removed dead pot plants, sponges, flannels, toothbrushes, doilies, etc to de-personalise it.
Then family members chose small items as mementos - a pot plant, a clock, some records...
My husband, teenage grandson and I then did a two night trip - staying in a hotel. I booked an 8 ton skip for delivery the day we arrived. We also had a charity visit but they only took a couple of items. We filled the skip by 4, so I phoned and arranged for it to be collected and replaced with another. We filled that as well! We also did numerous trips to the local charity shop. My grandson was so helpful - he can run up and down stairs 10 times in an hour and if I hesitated over an item he'd tell me whether it should go in the skip or to the charity shop.
On a second visit we filled another skip, visited the charity shop and finally found my aunt's 'lost' rings.
I was very practical and focused - but I cried as we drove away for the last time. I felt like a murderer but 2 years on I know I did the right thing.
Warning: make sure you don't bring any clothes moths to your own home - easily done.
I'd put it up for sale now. My aunt went into a care home in May 2017. Sale was completed at the end of August.
She was never going back there, the money would be needed for her care, and I didn't want to be responsible for it through the winter. Especially as I live 100 miles away. It's hard work and very emotional but it's better done sooner rather than later in my opinion.
Before it went on sale I brought home all paperwork, albums, etc, for sorting. I also removed dead pot plants, sponges, flannels, toothbrushes, doilies, etc to de-personalise it.
Then family members chose small items as mementos - a pot plant, a clock, some records...
My husband, teenage grandson and I then did a two night trip - staying in a hotel. I booked an 8 ton skip for delivery the day we arrived. We also had a charity visit but they only took a couple of items. We filled the skip by 4, so I phoned and arranged for it to be collected and replaced with another. We filled that as well! We also did numerous trips to the local charity shop. My grandson was so helpful - he can run up and down stairs 10 times in an hour and if I hesitated over an item he'd tell me whether it should go in the skip or to the charity shop.
On a second visit we filled another skip, visited the charity shop and finally found my aunt's 'lost' rings.
I was very practical and focused - but I cried as we drove away for the last time. I felt like a murderer but 2 years on I know I did the right thing.
Warning: make sure you don't bring any clothes moths to your own home - easily done.
which is when he asked me to look after his house. Obviously I took that as just regularly visiting, mowing the lawns, cutting back the shrubs etc, keeping an eye on and maintaining the place which I know you cannot bizarrely charge for which is strange in itself because if I got someone else in to do it dad would have to pay it for it!! I have heard many stories about this COP and whilst I fully understand it is there to protect people like dad so to speak it seems also that it can hamstring families who want to make decisions to the benefit of the donor (ie in this case dad). On the one hand it says it wants to protect a donors finances but on the other hand the COP and solicitors charge a fortune to either give the "obvious" thumbs up to an application or rule against it thus technically protecting the donor but at the same time going against their wishes!! Plus it seems to render my dads solicitors and financial advisor defunct and pretty useless when they themselves are unable to answer a simple question on whether a decision you want to make as a POA is ok or not. But they will reap the financial rewards when telling you to make an application to the COP via them!!! Sorry I'll get off my soap box!
I've done a bit of number crunching and doing it "properly" so to speak would probably leave me worse off financially. Dad's council tax (not paying it at the moment as he is in care) for instance is double mine, as are his energy bills. Dad in a proper rental situation would probably get around 2200 per month before any fees etc and my house is not even half it's size so I would probably get say 1000 if lucky before any fees and that's not taking into account the money that needs to spent on mine to make it rentable. Taking into account as you say income tax, rental fees, utility bills and the like I very much doubt it's doable. Plus dad's needs work on the bathrooms etc and I suspect whilst you could get them done if selling or renting to someone else if you were to get them done with you living there does it then also come under the category of you benefitting yourself?!
As I say it's an absolute minefield. I am sure that a high percentage of family members would in hindsight refuse to take on Power of Attorney if they knew how the simplest thing could make you be treated like a criminal.
I think my only three options are to either let it sit empty, sell or rent to someone else - all three which are against my fathers wishes!