I'm beginning to see things that wayI think that it is better to expect nothing thereby avoiding disappointment and unnecessary stress.
I'm beginning to see things that wayI think that it is better to expect nothing thereby avoiding disappointment and unnecessary stress.
I agree with every word here. That is so true. I also find myself saying "I hate him" which isn't true. But he is just like a needy child. I couldn't have put it better myself.The sad part is that it isn’t the help that is always needed, it is the emotional support that would make all the difference. I find that family don’t really understand what caring is all about. To me it’s not the extra work involved, although this can take its toll, it is the loss of the person you loved, even though they are still with you. I feel like someone came into my happy home and took away the husband I loved, someone whom I respected and was my best friend and replaced him with a needy child. I find myself saying at times “I hate him” which I know I don’t, I just hate this disease that took my adored husband away. Just a little phone call asking how ‘you’ are can mean the world. Someone to give you praise for doing a wonderful job would make you feel so much better about yourself. The loneliness is the hardest part.
I have so much admiration for every one of you carers. You are all special people who deserve some love and praise for the wonderful jobs you are doing.
@Linda G i couldn't have put this better myself . It's been 7 months since I've had any contact with OH Siblings, they always want to get together if it's someone's birthday but has to be at a pub, just can't get the message through that he gets confused with so many people being around, never mind drinking. I just don't bother now, like my sons said it's their loss. Think we all deserve a medal, but I'd just settle for a "how are you doing" and understanding that 24/7 care is no picnic!The sad part is that it isn’t the help that is always needed, it is the emotional support that would make all the difference. I find that family don’t really understand what caring is all about. To me it’s not the extra work involved, although this can take its toll, it is the loss of the person you loved, even though they are still with you. I feel like someone came into my happy home and took away the husband I loved, someone whom I respected and was my best friend and replaced him with a needy child. I find myself saying at times “I hate him” which I know I don’t, I just hate this disease that took my adored husband away. Just a little phone call asking how ‘you’ are can mean the world. Someone to give you praise for doing a wonderful job would make you feel so much better about yourself. The loneliness is the hardest part.
I have so much admiration for every one of you carers. You are all special people who deserve some love and praise for the wonderful jobs you are doing.
The sad part is that it isn’t the help that is always needed, it is the emotional support that would make all the difference. I find that family don’t really understand what caring is all about. To me it’s not the extra work involved, although this can take its toll, it is the loss of the person you loved, even though they are still with you. I feel like someone came into my happy home and took away the husband I loved, someone whom I respected and was my best friend and replaced him with a needy child. I find myself saying at times “I hate him” which I know I don’t, I just hate this disease that took my adored husband away. Just a little phone call asking how ‘you’ are can mean the world. Someone to give you praise for doing a wonderful job would make you feel so much better about yourself. The loneliness is the hardest part.
I agree with every word. It’s exactly what I meant about support. Thank you
When your emotional capital is being used up by those not worthy of it, keep it and spend elsewhere on someone who deserves it.
The common factor here is the lack of emotional support for the carer. We all know our nearest and dearest love us, but they just really do not understand the emotional battle we are going through. When one looses a loved one through death people understand that trauma, but it is obviously difficult for people to understand the loss when that person is still alive. We are very proud people who do their utmost to cope with all the extra duties which are thrust upon us so therefore everyone thinks we are coping well. They just need to dig deeper to find the emotional wrecks within. You are not expected to mourn when your loved one is still alive.
When your emotional capital is being used up by those not worthy of it, keep it and spend elsewhere on someone who deserves it.