Hello everyone
It is a while since I’ve posted. This time last year I was struggling to cope with mum who had vascular dementia and was living alone with me visiting every day after work to prepare meals and fire fight the increasingly dangerous situations she was getting into.
In December she had a fall and then a further fall in hospital which resulted in a fractured pelvis and eventually admission to full time care. I can honestly say it was the best outcome all round. She settled well and put weight on. I finally slept at night without worrying constantly what would happen next. There have been issues but on the whole the home is wonderful and she is settled and content.
We saved up and booked a week long cruise with our 12 year old son as we hadn’t been away properly for 3 years. We are due to go next Thursday. Yesterday the home called to say mum was not swallowing food but storing it in her mouth. They called the GP who suggested soft food and to encourage fluids. I’ve visited today and she’s quiet and tired but seemed reasonably OK. However, they are struggling to get her to eat and drink. She drank a cup of tea while I was there with encouragement and some juice. They said that if she gets dehydrated she will have to go in to hospital. I know its all speculative but I can’t help but feel that - knowing how fate loves to deal me a **** hand at times - something will happen while I’m away.
So here’s the selfish bit.....what the hell do I do? I can’t cancel the holiday - it took forever to afford this one and we certainly can’t afford another one if we don’t go on this. I’m feeling really stressed that something will happen while I’m away....my father had dementia and died while i was on holiday 9 years ago. My adult daughter will be here and will visit mum as she always does along with my cousin who visits her. I just feel that if I go it makes me a **** daughter and if I don’t we’ve just lost a fortune and any chance of holiday for a very long time.
Any advice would be welcome.,
It is a while since I’ve posted. This time last year I was struggling to cope with mum who had vascular dementia and was living alone with me visiting every day after work to prepare meals and fire fight the increasingly dangerous situations she was getting into.
In December she had a fall and then a further fall in hospital which resulted in a fractured pelvis and eventually admission to full time care. I can honestly say it was the best outcome all round. She settled well and put weight on. I finally slept at night without worrying constantly what would happen next. There have been issues but on the whole the home is wonderful and she is settled and content.
We saved up and booked a week long cruise with our 12 year old son as we hadn’t been away properly for 3 years. We are due to go next Thursday. Yesterday the home called to say mum was not swallowing food but storing it in her mouth. They called the GP who suggested soft food and to encourage fluids. I’ve visited today and she’s quiet and tired but seemed reasonably OK. However, they are struggling to get her to eat and drink. She drank a cup of tea while I was there with encouragement and some juice. They said that if she gets dehydrated she will have to go in to hospital. I know its all speculative but I can’t help but feel that - knowing how fate loves to deal me a **** hand at times - something will happen while I’m away.
So here’s the selfish bit.....what the hell do I do? I can’t cancel the holiday - it took forever to afford this one and we certainly can’t afford another one if we don’t go on this. I’m feeling really stressed that something will happen while I’m away....my father had dementia and died while i was on holiday 9 years ago. My adult daughter will be here and will visit mum as she always does along with my cousin who visits her. I just feel that if I go it makes me a **** daughter and if I don’t we’ve just lost a fortune and any chance of holiday for a very long time.
Any advice would be welcome.,