My sister doesn't like my nana near her toddler

[Hayley0110]

Hello everyone.
This is my first post. I have an 87 year old grandmother who has moderate/severe alzheimer's l. As a family we are still adjusting and I have taken on the roll of carer. I have a nephew who is 3 years old and he has begun to notice when my nana is getting upset. My sister does not like this and keeps saying she is going to tell my nana she has to behave when she is around him. Obviously my mana cannot control her behaviour but my sister still doesn't like it. I think she is quite unfair towards my nana but i dont know what to do. He is to young to understand and she is very overprotective, the only thing g I can think of is not having them be around each other.
Please does anyone have any advice

 

[marionq]

Best if your grandmother and the child are kept apart then. Dementia is hard to deal with for adults so you can’t really expect a toddler to know how to deal with it.

 

[Bunpoots]

Welcome to Dementia Talking Point @Hayley0110

I’m sorry to hear about your nana being so ill. My dad had Alzheimer’s and vascular dementia. He also loved he company of young children and, in the early stages of his illness would spoil them all (I was a childminder) as if they were his own. But as his illness developed I had to be very vigilant. It was a bit like having a dad-sized toddler and his behaviour around them could be dangerous. He was never aggressive or violent but he would try to give things like polo mints and pennies to very small children and babies if I didn’t watch him like a hawk.

Eventually I decided that the risk was too great and stopped visiting dad with the children in tow. He forgot about them quite quickly.

Does your nana know who your nephew is? Would she enjoy seeing photos of him?

Honestly I think it best if the little one is kept away if your nana’s behaviour is distressing for him. Or visits kept very short. It would be awful if he became traumatised.

There’s little point in your sister asking your nana to behave.