Hello
Sorry for the long thread but praying someone can give me some advice.
My nan who I am incredibly close to and has brought me up for last 28 years has mixed dementia. She was diagnosed this time last year and has slowly got worse. She is still living on her own (I moved out with my partner Jan last year) and she can still dress and bathe herself etc and is still reletively independant. She goes out everyday for a walk with her cat (yep you read that right haha. He follows her!) and has made a habit of going into the local shop (co-op) to spend money. I'm guessing this is out of boredem.
However recently my partner and I discovered she was about £500 in her overdraft where she was buying cigarettes everyday because she is forgetting when she has smoked one so has another and another etc..
To try and combat this I initially started looking after her bank card and was giving her money everyday from it but she was just spending it all on cigarettes rather than food. £10 a day on cigarettes isn't something she can afford so I now give her smaller amounts of money a day and give her a certain amount of cigarettes a day as well. I see her every evening to do her medication for her so I leave her with some for the evening and some for the following day with a note saying "save these for tomorrow".
Depsite our best efforts it is just not working and she is calling me every day at work upset because she has no money or cigarettes. She understands why I am doing what I am doing when I speak to her but then she gets frustrated and upset the next day and can't understand why she is smoking so much. I explain to her gently that it's not her fault its the dementia causing her to forget she has smoked one so she has another which then continues throughout the day.
If anything right now I feel so guilty because I feel like I am taking away her independence but in addition to that I am absolutely terrified she is going to start resenting me and hating me because she might start to think I am punishing her. Obviously this isn't the case I am just trying to help so she doesn't keep spending so much money. I honestly don't know what else to do. Does anyone have any advice?
Sorry for the long thread but praying someone can give me some advice.
My nan who I am incredibly close to and has brought me up for last 28 years has mixed dementia. She was diagnosed this time last year and has slowly got worse. She is still living on her own (I moved out with my partner Jan last year) and she can still dress and bathe herself etc and is still reletively independant. She goes out everyday for a walk with her cat (yep you read that right haha. He follows her!) and has made a habit of going into the local shop (co-op) to spend money. I'm guessing this is out of boredem.
However recently my partner and I discovered she was about £500 in her overdraft where she was buying cigarettes everyday because she is forgetting when she has smoked one so has another and another etc..
To try and combat this I initially started looking after her bank card and was giving her money everyday from it but she was just spending it all on cigarettes rather than food. £10 a day on cigarettes isn't something she can afford so I now give her smaller amounts of money a day and give her a certain amount of cigarettes a day as well. I see her every evening to do her medication for her so I leave her with some for the evening and some for the following day with a note saying "save these for tomorrow".
Depsite our best efforts it is just not working and she is calling me every day at work upset because she has no money or cigarettes. She understands why I am doing what I am doing when I speak to her but then she gets frustrated and upset the next day and can't understand why she is smoking so much. I explain to her gently that it's not her fault its the dementia causing her to forget she has smoked one so she has another which then continues throughout the day.
If anything right now I feel so guilty because I feel like I am taking away her independence but in addition to that I am absolutely terrified she is going to start resenting me and hating me because she might start to think I am punishing her. Obviously this isn't the case I am just trying to help so she doesn't keep spending so much money. I honestly don't know what else to do. Does anyone have any advice?
I don't think it's the nictotine that's the issue either because I did think about getting her patches. But it's the habit of doing it which is she is in such a routine of. 
