Carer for partner with Alzheimer’s.

[Yas]

Hello everyone,
I care for my partner who has Alzheimer’s. It is a very lonely existence, even though I try to reach out to people. My partner has no interest in joining Alzheimer’s groups or doing anything at all in fact. He is at the early stages and has no energy, no enthusiasm for anything. He watches tele, eats and sleeps. That’s all he does. He won’t see the Alzheimer’s nurse either. I just wish he could involve himself in something while it’s at this early stage.
Is inactivity a symptom?
I’m lonely too, as people shy away and say “Oh, sorry he’s got dementia “ and that’s it.
How can I encourage him to do things? It’s so frustrating and I’m the most patient person.
I want to make the most of the time we have.
Any suggestions would be appreciated.
Thankyou
Yas

 

[Bunpoots]

Welcome to DTP @Yas

I'm afraid not wanting to do anything is common for people with dementia and I know lots of people feel the way you do. My dad would do very little when I was caring for him. I could get him out if he was in the right mood but I didn't live with him so I could get away and see my friends occasionally.
The rest of the time I used to come here to talk to my virtual friends - it certainly eased the burden.

I found, with dad, that the best way to get him moving was to go in with the attitude that he'd already agreed to go out (usually for a meal) saying something like "Are you ready?" Or "Have you got your shoes on?" and jolly him along into whatever I'd got planned..

 

[Louise7]

Welcome to DTP. It sounds like your partner may have depression, which is common in those with dementia. It could be the diagnosis that has triggered this. Would it be possible to get him to see the GP for a check up, without mentioning dementia? There are various medications available that can help, and this factsheet contains some useful info:
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/about-dementia/symptoms-and-diagnosis/depression

 

[Yas]

Welcome to DTP. It sounds like your partner may have depression, which is common in those with dementia. It could be the diagnosis that has triggered this. Would it be possible to get him to see the GP for a check up, without mentioning dementia? There are various medications available that can help, and this factsheet contains some useful info.]
.

Hi Louise, Thankyou for your message. Simon, my partner has been on various anti depressants but they just knock him out and he spends all day asleep in bed.
It’s very lonely. I have realised all our friends have gone.
There’s just no conversation and I don’t know how I’m going to get through this. But then, it’s just going to get worse and it’s frightening.
Yas

 

[Yas]

Welcome to DTP @Yas

I'm afraid not wanting to do anything is common for people with dementia and I know lots of people feel the way you do. My dad would do very little when I was caring for him. I could get him out if he was in the right mood but I didn't live with him so I could get away and see my friends occasionally.
The rest of the time I used to come here to talk to my virtual friends - it certainly eased the burden.

I found, with dad, that the best way to get him moving was to go in with the attitude that he'd already agreed to go out (usually for a meal) saying something like "Are you ready?" Or "Have you got your shoes on?" and jolly him along into whatever I'd got planned..

Thankyou for your message. Simon is very stubborn and he point blank refuses anything really. Have tried everything.
He has started to drink quite heavily too, which I know will harm him further, but my suggestion not to goes on deaf ears. Will tell his psychiatrist when we seem him next week. I don’t know who else to turn to.
Yas.