just had another phone call from my mother, asking me to take her shopping on Monday. She made a very coherent argument that she feels bored and isolated in her extra care housing, with my father. Both have dementia, hers far worse than his, with her still recovering from a recent hospital admission with delirium, hallucations, and violent paranoid delusions, none of which she can, of course, remember. Risperidone helping, we think, but now she is back to demanding to be taken shopping, and when I say this isn’t possible her saying she will go on bus. Only trouble is a. she hasn’t been shopping in years b. The last time I tried - in a wheelchair, because she can no longer walk very far- she screamed at top of her voice at me whole way round because I was trying to guide her to things she actually needed and not the pounds of raw meat she wanted to buy. Plus she got very angry when I then asked what she wanted and she couldn’t say. C. As I said above, it was an outing to my house lunch etc that tipped her over into psychosis, and left her unable to recognise her home. D. My father was twice faecally incontinent on that occasion. E. Neither have insight, but partIcularly my mother, neither remember any (my mother) or much of this (my father) so just think me cruel and neglectful and on days like today make this clear. We took both shopping for years while still possible ( and beyond what felt possible) and now have twice weekly food deliveries. From her and his perspective I am neglectful and I feel terrible not to take them out but what else can I do? I finally stopped taking her a year ago because it became unbearably stressful for me and my husband and she was angry and frustrated and came close to physical collapse on several occasions. Plus her mental state is so precarious I think another outing could well end up with another bout of psychosis and another hospital admission. But does that mean they will never go out again? If so, I don’t know how they will bear it, it would drive me crazy, that’s for sure. Has anyone out there got any experience of this or advice, please. Maybe I’m being a coward not to try. Help, please.