Looking for Advice

RS Tracy

Registered User
Jun 12, 2017
28
0
Hello everyone

My mum is in a care home and has been since 9th January. She has been doing ok, but is getting increasingly difficult when the carers are trying to do things for her, i.e. washing, dressing, help to the toilet etc. Quite a few weeks ago, the chiropodist was checking her feet and noticed that her toe nails needed cutting, but what ever way he tried my mum would not let him cut her nails. Every time he tried my mum would either kick out, or verbal abuse him, so in the end he had to leave it. He tried again the next time he visited but the same thing happened again. Then yesterday (his 3rd time of trying) my mum was still refusing to let him cut her toe nails. I had a phone call from him saying that he really needs to do them as they are very long and are curling round and starting to dig into her skin. He said he will be at the care home again on Fri 26th and has asked me to be there when he is, in the hope that I can calm my mum down to allow him to cut her nails.

The thing is, this has happened before when she was still living at home and it was very difficult then, but now with her Dementia being more advanced, I just dont know if me being there is going to help. Obviously I will be there, but I was wondering if anyone could suggest any ideas on the best way to handle it. If she starts to kick out and shout, what do I do? I cant tell her to stop because she wont understand, and no matter how many times I try and explain to her what is happening and that there is nothing to be frightened of, and I will not let anything happen to her, and she's perfectly safe, what happens if she still refuses to co-operate??.

Any advice would be great, thank you :)
 

Louise7

Volunteer Host
Mar 25, 2016
4,694
0
My Mum got agitated when attending the dentist so the care home GP prescribed a low dose of diazepam to be taken prior to the appointment. It worked well - calmed her down for the short time that it took to pull a tooth out without any on-going side effects. Maybe your Mum's GP could prescribe something similar? It could be the pain from her toes which has increased her agitation so best to get it sorted sooner rather than later.
 

RosettaT

Registered User
Sep 9, 2018
866
0
Mid Lincs
I would see if Dr would supply something to calm her too. My OH spent 12 weeks in hospital and I wasn't aware they dont cut toe nails, I did his finger nails without thinking about it. He ended up with 2 ingrowing toenails and antibiotics so the sooner they are dealt with the better.
 

Bod

Registered User
Aug 30, 2013
1,958
0
Distract/ bribe, large box of chocolates, only to be opened after the last snip?

Bod
 

Graybiker

Registered User
Oct 3, 2017
326
0
County Durham
Had Similar to this very recently. Gave mam a manicure at the same time. Distraction, reassurance and anything to make her laugh, (I know this isn’t always possible). Joked about her being spoilt, having a spa day etc
 

RS Tracy

Registered User
Jun 12, 2017
28
0
My Mum got agitated when attending the dentist so the care home GP prescribed a low dose of diazepam to be taken prior to the appointment. It worked well - calmed her down for the short time that it took to pull a tooth out without any on-going side effects. Maybe your Mum's GP could prescribe something similar? It could be the pain from her toes which has increased her agitation so best to get it sorted sooner rather than later.
Unfortunately this idea has already been looked into. Her GP has said he cant give her anything like that, because she is at 'high risk' of falling, and if he gives her something to calm her down etc, it increases this risk.
 

RS Tracy

Registered User
Jun 12, 2017
28
0
Distract/ bribe, large box of chocolates, only to be opened after the last snip?

Bod
That has also been tried, she point blank refuses to co-operate no matter what you try and do to persuade her otherwise. She has always hated her toe nails being cut, even when she was still living at home and her Dementia wasn't as bad as it is now, she absolutely hated having her toe nails cut.
 

Bunpoots

Volunteer Host
Apr 1, 2016
7,344
0
Nottinghamshire
Unfortunately this idea has already been looked into. Her GP has said he cant give her anything like that, because she is at 'high risk' of falling, and if he gives her something to calm her down etc, it increases this risk.

I would still go back to the doctor as I imagine the toenails are going to increase her risk of falling anyway and there’s also the risk of infection and pain if it’s not sorted out.

Maybe a large whiskey would help...although I imagine that would also increase the risk of falling :rolleyes: