My Mother in Law has Dementia and I need some help

[Leanne402]

Hi. My mother in law was recently diagnosed with dementia. She's 66. For some years she has been experiencing significant sort term memory and we had to fight for a diagnosis for her. She loves to read and go walking but she's forgetting her appointments. She also forgets when her sons have rang her so she's sat at home thinking her sons don't care. She's a history of depression as well. We suggested she have a calendar up but she's vetoed that and said she doesn't want anything that shows she's "going Mad"?
Any suggestions on how we can help her and persuade her?

 

[jaymor]

Hello @Leanne402 and welcome to DTP.

I’m sorry your Mum-in-law is against a calendar but it’s understandable if she has never had one. She may come round to having one once she settles a little. It’s a shock to get a diagnosis.

Having a calendar is a very normal thing to have. I have had one on my kitchen wall since the children started school and that’s over 40 years ago. My life is on the calendar and I would be lost without it.

 

[Donkeyshere]

I agree with Jaymor, its hard to for the person once they are diagnosed they are going through a huge amount of emotions and we as is human nature, want to help and try to find solutions when they are not ready to accept them. Its hard to bring in changes, we can see the benefits but the PWD is not always in the same place they are just trying to come to terms with things. With my MIL I tried to bring in too many changes too quickly and this backfired - I would suggest to wait a bit and then suggest the calendar again in a few weeks - this will give time for the suggestion to settle. It would say reassurance is the best thing that you can give at the moment. But keep posting these forums have been brilliant for me and given me ideas I would not have thought of. But the best advice I have received as the carer for my MIL, is take care of yourself regardless of anything else. X