Hi, I'm new here and my eyes are filled with tears at reading through some of these threads. What an incrediby brave and strong support network you all are, I feel I may lean too heavily on you all. Its a long story, so here goes:
My Dad is 89, was widowed in 2003 (seems like yesterday Mum left) and not long after was diagnosed with Parkinsons Disease. He managed so well, until a couple of years when the dementia reared its head. We began with private care, in his home, early last year, and I have to say they have been marvellous. The care company employed one lady just for Dad, so he only has two carers currently on his team, great for keeping him settled. My sister and I take a part in caring for him too, when not at work. This is the first issue, we are not close at all, in fact I think the only thing we would agree on would be the fact that we actually never want to see each other again, once Dad leaves us. She is a very strong willed lady, and has firm opinions which sadly are always right, if you get my meaning!
At present, I am beginning to feel that Dad needs another carer on the team around him, and his care company boss agrees, for instance to cover absences, illness and emergencies. I personally would appreciate some weekend cover, as I spend every Saturday with him (over 13 hours a day) and much as I love him, it is difficult.
His dementia is worsening, twice recently I have had to tell him who I am, which I imagine will become the norm? He seems to hallucinate too, is this common of sufferers? He says the most bizarre things, for example his house is an air raid shelter, and he knows this because I (apparently) tipped over a sofa and there was rusty schrapnel underneath.
He is totally insistent that he will not go into "an awful prison" (care home) despite having placed his Alzheimer suffering mother in more than one home, before she ended up in a geriatric hospital unit at the time of her death. I did (rightly or wrongly) remind of his this fact, and he clearly remembered, because he became a petulant child and wouldn't answer me.
My sister feels another carer will be one too many for him, yet it is looking likely that he will soon need double up carers, to aid his movement as his PD causes loss of movement, and this cannot be provided without a third carer. How many is too many? I dont want to cause him distress, but I want him looked after. I know she also feels that I am renaging on my"duty" by asking for more cover for Dad, but honestly, I want to be his daughter and enjoy his latter years as much as I can, as that, and not his carer. He was always so incredibly private, we never even saw him in his boxers,that now having to wash his privates and change his incont pants breaks my heart.
I could go on and on, but you get the picture. I am sorry for such a ramble, and thankyou for staying with me, Really sobbing now, its hard isnt it? Love to you all, Sarah x
Sorry, I shoujld have also said that many, many times he tells me he wants this over, he wants it to end & I believe that to be true. The PD is becoming debilitating, he is almost blind and with the dementia........
My Dad is 89, was widowed in 2003 (seems like yesterday Mum left) and not long after was diagnosed with Parkinsons Disease. He managed so well, until a couple of years when the dementia reared its head. We began with private care, in his home, early last year, and I have to say they have been marvellous. The care company employed one lady just for Dad, so he only has two carers currently on his team, great for keeping him settled. My sister and I take a part in caring for him too, when not at work. This is the first issue, we are not close at all, in fact I think the only thing we would agree on would be the fact that we actually never want to see each other again, once Dad leaves us. She is a very strong willed lady, and has firm opinions which sadly are always right, if you get my meaning!
At present, I am beginning to feel that Dad needs another carer on the team around him, and his care company boss agrees, for instance to cover absences, illness and emergencies. I personally would appreciate some weekend cover, as I spend every Saturday with him (over 13 hours a day) and much as I love him, it is difficult.
His dementia is worsening, twice recently I have had to tell him who I am, which I imagine will become the norm? He seems to hallucinate too, is this common of sufferers? He says the most bizarre things, for example his house is an air raid shelter, and he knows this because I (apparently) tipped over a sofa and there was rusty schrapnel underneath.
He is totally insistent that he will not go into "an awful prison" (care home) despite having placed his Alzheimer suffering mother in more than one home, before she ended up in a geriatric hospital unit at the time of her death. I did (rightly or wrongly) remind of his this fact, and he clearly remembered, because he became a petulant child and wouldn't answer me.
My sister feels another carer will be one too many for him, yet it is looking likely that he will soon need double up carers, to aid his movement as his PD causes loss of movement, and this cannot be provided without a third carer. How many is too many? I dont want to cause him distress, but I want him looked after. I know she also feels that I am renaging on my"duty" by asking for more cover for Dad, but honestly, I want to be his daughter and enjoy his latter years as much as I can, as that, and not his carer. He was always so incredibly private, we never even saw him in his boxers,that now having to wash his privates and change his incont pants breaks my heart.
I could go on and on, but you get the picture. I am sorry for such a ramble, and thankyou for staying with me, Really sobbing now, its hard isnt it? Love to you all, Sarah x
Sorry, I shoujld have also said that many, many times he tells me he wants this over, he wants it to end & I believe that to be true. The PD is becoming debilitating, he is almost blind and with the dementia........
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