Awaiting diagnosis for my mum

Shedrech

Registered User
Dec 15, 2012
12,649
0
UK
hi @Bollasm
is there another doctor at the practice, as this one doesn't seem to grasp that if your mum is being affected by dementia she is probably unlikely to ever see there's something wrong
personally, I would keep a journal of your mum's behaviour, her difficulties and what others have to do to support her, including whether or not she accepted help or co-operated, and regularly send a summary in writing to the doctor, memory clinic and anyone else involved, so at least you know they have been kept up to date and can't say they were unaware
unfortunately, it is memory clinics who make the diagnosis, so somehow, at some time I hope they are able to assess your mum
 

Louise83

Registered User
Feb 5, 2019
83
0
My mum was diagnosed with mild-moderate dementia today, and she will be prescribed medication to help. She scored 45/100 in the memory test the CP nurse did back in January.

My initial reaction was a sense of relief that we have an answer and something is being done.

My mum, who hasn't been worried about her memory etc, is understandably upset. I've tried reassuring her that nothing has changed from yesterday but only she will be getting a pill to help with her memory. It will be a lot for her to take in. I'm almost hoping she forgets it tomorrow.
 

karaokePete

Registered User
Jul 23, 2017
6,534
0
N Ireland
I'm sorry to read your news @Louise83.

You may both suffer from what is called 'anticipatory grief'. I got over it quickly as my reaction to my wife's diagnosis was similar to your own and I just got busy with putting POA, wills, etc in place. We are now a few years down the line and I'm not sure my wife is through that stage but she is a long term sufferer with anxiety and depression and that may be prolonging things for her.

This type of grief is mentioned on page 4 of the Factsheet that can be read by clicking the PDF line of the following link
Grief, loss and bereavement (507)
PDF printable version

I wish you both the best of luck.
 

Bollasm

Registered User
Dec 9, 2018
16
0
hi @Bollasm
is there another doctor at the practice, as this one doesn't seem to grasp that if your mum is being affected by dementia she is probably unlikely to ever see there's something wrong
personally, I would keep a journal of your mum's behaviour, her difficulties and what others have to do to support her, including whether or not she accepted help or co-operated, and regularly send a summary in writing to the doctor, memory clinic and anyone else involved, so at least you know they have been kept up to date and can't say they were unaware
unfortunately, it is memory clinics who make the diagnosis, so somehow, at some time I hope they are able to assess your mum
hi @Bollasm
is there another doctor at the practice, as this one doesn't seem to grasp that if your mum is being affected by dementia she is probably unlikely to ever see there's something wrong
personally, I would keep a journal of your mum's behaviour, her difficulties and what others have to do to support her, including whether or not she accepted help or co-operated, and regularly send a summary in writing to the doctor, memory clinic and anyone else involved, so at least you know they have been kept up to date and can't say they were unaware
unfortunately, it is memory clinics who make the diagnosis, so somehow, at some time I hope they are able to assess your mum
There is no other doctor at this practise there is someone high above there though well she has mental capacity they still have the right to acknowledge her refusals as for updating the practise every time.we have bad time I do keep them updated with the changes in my mum all he's told.me.if she get too bad ring an ambulance she will be sewn at hospital for quick diagnosis there are so many with this problem
 

Louise83

Registered User
Feb 5, 2019
83
0
I'm sorry to read your news @Louise83.

You may both suffer from what is called 'anticipatory grief'. I got over it quickly as my reaction to my wife's diagnosis was similar to your own and I just got busy with putting POA, wills, etc in place. We are now a few years down the line and I'm not sure my wife is through that stage but she is a long term sufferer with anxiety and depression and that may be prolonging things for her.

This type of grief is mentioned on page 4 of the Factsheet that can be read by clicking the PDF line of the following link
Grief, loss and bereavement (507)
PDF printable version

I wish you both the best of luck.
Thank you Pete.
 

Latitude

Registered User
Jul 12, 2019
35
0
I'm finding this thread very helpful whilst waiting for my mum's assessment and diagnosis. I've been pushing for this for some time. Now I feel a whole mixture of emotions ... Yes it will be good to get the diagnosis but with that will come all sorts of ****. Tonight a senior carer where mum is said how excited she was that mum would soon be diagnosed as then she would find out which type of dementia mum has and it's all "exciting stuff". I feel the opposite to excitement frankly. I'm dreading the finality of it and having to explain it all to my very elderly Dad. I'm so stressed, I don't know if it's actually a good or bad thing that diagnosis is imminent. How has it been for others?
 

Sirena

Registered User
Feb 27, 2018
2,324
0
I wouldn't set too much store by the 'type', as the diagnosis can be a bit woolly and some people have found they get one diagnosis and it then gets changed as time goes on and other symptoms develop. The diagnosis for my mother after her scan was Alzheimers but by that time she was fairly well into the 'journey' and we already thought it was Alzheimers anyway. It made absolutely no difference, they considered her for memantine and decided against it. I don't know why anyone would be excited to find out, sounds an odd thing to say. I hope it all goes as well as possible for you and your mum.
 

Latitude

Registered User
Jul 12, 2019
35
0
Thank you Sirena. I think her reaction must be some coping strategy, a sort of intellectualisation. How do carers do their very difficult jobs ? I agree it's very bizarre though. The unit deals with severe cases and is on full lockdown. I'm in despair that my mum is even there but until she is diagnosed we are not allowed to move her nor will anyone else. Two weeks in her deterioration is rapid and she has all but given up.
 

Sirena

Registered User
Feb 27, 2018
2,324
0
What a difficult situation for you - hopefully a diagnosis will mean she can be moved. I agree carers do a very difficult job, I certainly couldn't do it but some people genuinely find it rewarding. When my mother first needed care at home, the director of the Agency said to me "I know it's upsetting for you, but we all love our jobs".

There will always be someone for you to talk to on here, so let us know what happens.
 

Latitude

Registered User
Jul 12, 2019
35
0
Thank you. Like many many others we are in disbelief as to what has happened and its clear Mum has given up and is refusing to eat or drink. She is in such utter despair as are we and yet we only get information if we visit or phone. It's a horrendous journey and I read others' stories and the helpless hoplessness is everywhere.