Behaviour challenges

Thethirdmrsc

Registered User
Apr 4, 2018
744
0
What happens in my husbands brain when at bedtime he suddenly turns to me and asks what’s wrong, telling me I haven’t spoken all day, to tell him what’s wrong. Tonight, after a good day, I told him I was going to do the ironing, and an hour later I come back into the living room, and he is in a could mood. Telling me that somethings wrong, why won’t I tell him, I’ve not spoken to him all day. I try and keep calm, and say what a good day we have had. Now he is trembling, thinks I am lying, and I know tomorrow that he won’t remember this at all. Is this going to happen more frequent? 2 years in, and I notice more little things.
 

Shedrech

Registered User
Dec 15, 2012
12,649
0
UK
hi @Thethirdmrsc
it certainly sounds as though it's sundowning
I used to tell myself that dad had spent so much energy during the day simply keeping things together, that come the evening his brain was just overloaded and almost blanked out
I doubt your husband is able to take on any explanation ... for him you have been out of sight for ages however little time it may really have been and you saying otherwise doesn't fit with what he 'knows' so you must be lying .. might you try simply apologising and saying something such as 'I had such a lot of ironing today, I didn't realise I'd taken so long, so sorry .. let's have a cuppa together and see what we can watch on the TV, your favourite's on' .. and maybe get him involved with helping you, so you don't immediately leave him if only to go to the kitchen
if he doesn't remember next day, you can come up with a couple of scripts you can reel off, so you don't have to make up something new each day ... anything to keep him as settled as possible which helps you
maybe mention to your GP as some meds may help
 

Thethirdmrsc

Registered User
Apr 4, 2018
744
0
Thank you both. Because it is so irregular, I never thought of sundowning. There are just so many things to look out for and remember.
 

Vic10

Registered User
Feb 18, 2017
172
0
I had a terrible time a few months ago with my OH not wanting me out of his sight. He also accused me of not speaking to him.
It is impossible to find conversation consistently all day but I did try! Exhausting!
I brought the ironing board into the living room and any other jobs that I could and suggested he sat in the kitchen with me when I was cooking.
To alleviate the conversation problem I introduced jigsaws and dominos.
Thankfully that stage seems to have passed and now he is more content.