Concerns over reported sexual activity in nurses no home

Disenchanted

Registered User
Sep 26, 2015
3
0
Torquay
Hi looking for some advice! My step mum has been in a nursing home for the past 2 years with advanced dementia. She is doubly in continent, is almost blind and relies on carers for everything. She has had 20+ falls in the last 6 months resulting in cut head and many bumps and bruises but no broken bones yet. She was at ‘end of lufe’ In January but that was due to over medication. She has lost a lot of weight and now breast cancer is suspected, but dr advice is no treatment due to her lack of cognition and frailty. She is still mobile and has a habit of undressing. She doesn’t recognise my father or myself anymore but she will say hello and goodbye when prompted. She appears happy. Yesterday evening I received a call from the home advising me that during the previous night she had been found naked with a new male patient and ‘some touching was taking place and the male patient was very excited’ I haven’t been able to sleep worrying about what had taken place and have no idea what to do as the home didn’t seem to be as alarmed as I am. They apparently have to report it as a safeguarding issue. When I asked what they were going to do the answer was maybe put a sensor on her bedroom door! But where does it leave my stepmom, she is prone to wandering at night. Who should I be discussing this with?
 
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Helly68

Registered User
Mar 12, 2018
1,685
0
Most local authorities have a helpline or team who deal with safeguarding vulnerable adults. I would contact them. However, I would also try and discuss this with the home manager. It is very distressing and they do have a duty or care. I am sorry you find yourself in this very difficult situation.
 

Disenchanted

Registered User
Sep 26, 2015
3
0
Torquay
Most local authorities have a helpline or team who deal with safeguarding vulnerable adults. I would contact them. However, I would also try and discuss this with the home manager. It is very distressing and they do have a duty or care. I am sorry you find yourself in this very difficult situation.
Thank you. I’ve found a confidential helpline to discuss.
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
81,455
0
Kent
I don`t think you need to report it to anyone @Disenchanted. It sounds as if the home has it in hand and is doing everything by the book.

the home didn’t seem to be as alarmed as I am.

This is probably because the home is aware this can happen and is more objective. For you, this is a first, and more personal, so much more upsetting.

If it`s any comfort, your mother was found, probably during a routine night round, and came to no harm.

My mother also went through a stage of undressing and I found her in her room with a man when I visited. The staff were completely unaware, even though this was during the day. I moved my mother from this home because I was unhappy the home didn`t know where my mother and this man were.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
25,018
0
South coast
You dont have to report it to anybody - the home is reporting it.
This sort of thing does happen periodically, even in the best of homes and the manager should have strategies to prevent it.

One thing I might suggest is that you can get clothing that does up down the back which makes it difficult for the person to remove. It might be a good idea in her case as she tends to disrobe in public
 

Disenchanted

Registered User
Sep 26, 2015
3
0
Torquay
You dont have to report it to anybody - the home is reporting it.
This sort of thing does happen periodically, even in the best of homes and the manager should have strategies to prevent it.

One thing I might suggest is that you can get clothing that does up down the back which makes it difficult for the person to remove. It might be a good idea in her case as she tends to disrobe in public
Thank you for your suggestions, I’ll look into some new nightwear. I feel reassured that I’m not seen to be neglecting her.
 

Susan11

Registered User
Nov 18, 2018
5,064
0
It is also possible to put a sensor mat by the bed which sends a message to the office when your Mum gets out of bed. Mum has one of these as she fell when getting out of bed .