Social services assessment

[Susan11]

Thank you all so much for your support especially as so many of you are fighting real battles. I am trying to be realistic and take things one step at a time. From seeing the SW this morning I have visited 4 homes today one of which is a real possibility. I will try & see some more tomorrow but am amazed at how quickly this is progressing.
It has been disconcerting not to have mum at home & while my priority is to find her the best possible care home I know that I will also have to deal with deciding what she takes with her. We have discussed this - Mum is a hoarder by nature- but I am trying to take this as an opportunity to choose the nicest things to take with her & leave what I consider rubbish here.

I don't want to put a dampener on your excitement but I would be wary of taking anything of value into the Care home. I found that things " go missing" from bedrooms. Glasses, hearing aids, hairbrushes and jewellery have gone missing from Mum's things . I'm not saying they are stolen ...just picked up and moved , or Mum leaves them behind somewhere , or they go to the laundry by mistake. The care home manager decided to do a glasses clean so she could check other residents rooms for my Mum' s glasses .

 

[canary]

Thank you all so much for your support especially as so many of you are fighting real battles. I am trying to be realistic and take things one step at a time. From seeing the SW this morning I have visited 4 homes today one of which is a real possibility. I will try & see some more tomorrow but am amazed at how quickly this is progressing.
It has been disconcerting not to have mum at home & while my priority is to find her the best possible care home I know that I will also have to deal with deciding what she takes with her. We have discussed this - Mum is a hoarder by nature- but I am trying to take this as an opportunity to choose the nicest things to take with her & leave what I consider rubbish here.

I am so glad things are working out.

When mum went into a care home I just packed the minimum - her clothes and toiletries and came back for other stuff later.
Later I brought some photos, a couple of pictures to hang on the walls (the hangers were already there) a fleecy blanket for her bed, a couple of cushions for the chair. a robust vase for flowers and one or two cuddly toys. The care home had a policy of "if it will fit in the room, you can put it in her room" so I also brought her bedside table and chest or drawers from her bedroom, but not every home will allow this, so check first if you want to do the same.

Make sure that you label everything that you take in as things tend to get moved around in dementia homes and it means that things can get back to their rightfull owners that way. Dont take in anything precious or irriplacable in case it goes missing and cannot be found (it does happen even with the carers best intentions). Also, dont take in anything fragile and when you take in photos, dont send in originals - make copies and put the copies into frames with plastic instead of glass. Where it comes to her knick-knacks, remember that she will probably forget the sentimental reason behind them and may give them away (or even throw them away), so you might want to keep them yourself.

A dementia home is often like an alternative reality and takes a bit of getting used to (for both of you), but I have some happy memories of mum from that time.
xx